September 30, 2009

Okay. I’ll admit it. I don’t always have the best judgment when it comes to men. I have a penchant for overlooking fairy tale princes, as I cling (rather desperately I might add) to frogs masquerading as men. Despite this alarming and highly problematic idiosyncrasy I am still quite confident about one thing:  I can always tell when the man I desire to be with no longer feels the same way about me.

Due to my natural ‘talent’ in this area, I assumed that everyone over the age of 16 was able to recognize the signs (clear or not) of the end of a hook up, connection or relationship. I was shocked to learn that there are adults among us who do not seem to know that the object of their desire’s failure to communicate signals the end of their affair. Can you believe there are people who consider the pity-filled, vague and non-committal answers to their panicked stream of IMs, phone calls, texts and/or emails as a sign that their ‘love interest’ is still in the game? Yes dear readers, amazing as it may seem what I’m saying is true. There are (too) many intelligent and high-functioning men and women living among us who are unable (or perhaps just unwilling) too see or accept the tell-tale signs that they’ve been ditched. I know you’re all reeling from disbelief, but let me share my story about a man we’ll call ‘B’ that clearly illustrates my point.

Now for the record B was definitely one of my dating mistakes. In retrospect I shouldn’t have gone there at all, but for some reason – still unbeknownst to me – I did. Anyway after he approached me online, B and I went out a few times, and eventually, because he was really attentive and so very earnest I decided to ‘give him some’ (a very poor choice on my part – you’ll see why in a minute).

On the night we were to ‘commune’ for the first time when B arrived at my place I could tell he was really nervous. I am not sure why he was so ‘shook’ by the prospect of getting down with me, but he was much less talkative than usual as we ate dinner together. After we finished eating I suggested that we sit down on my couch to watch a little TV together, before getting to our planned ‘dessert.’ I was hoping some mindless entertainment would help him to chill out. Well, after about 15 minutes of me watching TV and him pretending to watch TV, while stealing glances at me, B made his move.

Now when things got started, B was definitely in it to win it. He moved quickly undressing us both with lightening speed, and then suggested we move the action to my bed. Once there he started planting kisses all over my body. People, can I tell you how excited I was. I love a man who takes charge and I could tell from B’s intense energy that it was going to be good.  After a fairly long bout of foreplay I was percolating, and I anxiously waited for him to get a condom on. It was then that the unthinkable happened. ..

To be continued in my next post (brace yourself people – it’s going to be good).

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