September 30, 2009

ELIZABETH ROSE

The desires of the heart are as crooked as corkscrews. – W. H. Auden

Where do you find a good man in this bleak horizon? As they say, a good man is hard to find but a hard man is good to find!

Right now I can find neither. It has been almost a week and I think I need to find another source of batteries. The man who runs the corner store closest to my home is starting to look at me funny whenever I go in and purchase yet another raft of C sized batteries for my darling rabbit pearl (Buzzzz…). Also I think all the vibrations are starting to make my hair frizz. Is that possible? Is my choice now between electronically induced sexual satifaction or having smooth shiny locks? Can any hair dressers or dildo aficionados comment on this? I have to be honest – I’ll start wearing hats every day if it means I can keep playing with the rabbit.

Oh, how I love my darling rabbit pearl.

Perhaps this is a catch 22? If my hair is a frizzy mess will I have further delays in getting a real man between my legs and therefore be dooming myself to spending a significant portion of my disposable income on batteries? Of course, I am not sure any of my past lovers could describe my hair style (beyond Brazilian of course) so this may just be my girlish paranoia.

So back to the original question – where are the best men in Toronto? If I seek in a coffee shop will I find an energetic lover who is sensitive and thorough? If I peruse the local bookstore will I find a creative lover, well researched in tantric arts? Or perhaps a sports bar would unearth a treasure of stamina with a competitive streak, whose singular focus will be finding out how many times he can make me shudder in bliss?

I shall let you know how I get on…

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