November 4, 2009

SAM SHARPE

^{“Sweet Melinda , the peasants call her the goddess of gloom}

^{She speaks good English, and she invites you up into her room}

^{And you’re so kind, and careful not to go to her too soon}

^{And she steals your voice, and leaves you howling at the moon”}

^{~Bob Dylan}

In case you haven’t visited the site over the last few days, Elisabeth Rose and Skye have been posting about the “shortcomings” of some men. Modus Operandi here at “love, sex and scandal central” aka metanotherfrog.com decrees that I respond in some manner to the topics, ideas and views presented by these two lovely ladies. However, in the case of The Top 10 Ways… and A Tale of Two Thumbs I had a difficult time coming up with anything worthwhile. Initially, I felt that I didn’t have much to say or much to add.

Having said that, I am very rarely left speechless, so I thought I would just make a few observations:

1. The 10 points listed in The Top 10 Ways… was compiled with Usain Bolt like quickness. I mean, we all know that size isn’t the only thing that matters, but after bearing witness to women yelling out the myriad warning signs that a given dude is not exactly packing heat, it’s clear it does matter to some extent. And women who care enough about these things clearly would like to have some kind of early warning system—hence the list. (But I’m sure if you’ve got a big dick and the personality of a slug you won’t get much love either—small men of the world rejoice!)
2. Though tempted to call women like Saffron superficial and insensitive, I think one of the real problems with Mr. Tom Thumb is that he’s sidling up to the high roller’s table with a short stack of chips. Not to be a prick here, but when your money’s short, you bet accordingly. I dunno, maybe I’ve got it all wrong, but fellas, if ya’ got a short stack, leave the $1000 tables alone and play the slots. If you’re so worried about the size of your penis that you refuse to take your pants off, you risk being humiliated like Mr. Two Thumbs.
3. I’m not a female (or a gay man for that matter) but aside from the size of a penis, don’t you think shape could be just as much of an issue. I once had a girl tell me that the head of her lover’s schlong was “sharp”. When I asked what she meant by “sharp”, she said “y’know, pointy like the tip of a pencil”. Think about that one for a moment.

My advice for my not so Henry Longfellows out there:

Don’t worry about it. I don’t know if there’s any truth to the saying “it’s not the size of the wand, but the magic in it”, but I do know that if you carry yourself in a “small” manner it doesn’t matter how big your cock is, women are going to respond to you negatively. I know I might be contradicting what I just finished saying about men with “short stacks” but any woman who’s going to disregard who you are as a person and dismiss you because of your size, is going to do it regardless of what you do or what you buy. Be confident. Don’t “walk small”. If you believe the size of your manhood is a problem, women will too.

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