November 19, 2009

ELIZABETH ROSE

“Beware of any enterprise that requires new clothes” – Henry David Thoreau

Following my close encounter of the hairy kind, Finn and I had gone back to texts.

A recent result of this was that him turning up a bit drunk at 11pm on Tuesday night after being out downtown with his friends. (Fortunately, he’s one of those really adorable cheerful drunks when tipsy – I will mention again how extremely hot he is to explain just why I am putting up with him showing up hammered and having a hairy penis).

Anyhow, he stayed the night, which I don’t think was intentional (as he had to work next day) and when he woke in the morning he did this sudden panic about being late for work. He calmed down when he realised it was only 6am, and then proceeded to stay until he was actually late for work.

Now I am a normally a calm lass, but because it’s been such a slow burn with me and Finn, there have been doubts forming in my mind. It is all the usual paranoia:

• Maybe he has a girlfriend?
• Does he not really like me that much?
• Surely he would make time to see me if he did?

Finn and I have yet to go out on a date, which he seems intent on correcting (if only verbally), though he doesn’t offer any ideas re scheduling. He just keeps telling me that he hopes work will calm down soon. I didn’t mind about the not dating – I am hardly going to marry a plumber with furry genitalia, but I am concerned that I might be inadvertently be causing harm to another lass. Which brings me back to his wake up panic.

It made me wonder that maybe there was someone he should have been going home to. What could I do to find out? Well, I did what any other mildly psychotic woman would do and as we were indulging in wake up sex, I inflicted an obvious sex injury by scratching his back, ‘noticed’ it and apologised afterwards to gauge his reaction. His response was basically a flat line (he didn’t react), which gave me the comfort of knowing that I was not engaging in making squelchy noises with someone who has made promises elsewhere.

Once he left and we were back to texts, I noticed that he had left his boxers and socks behind. His oversight was not because they were flung somewhere.

They were right on top of his jeans and yet he left commando. This seems a tad inexplicable, no? So I am trying to discern if leaving his undergarments was a way to return, a way to get me to do his laundry, or if similar to my scratching maneuver, he wanted to see how I would react. (i.e. I would know they are his undies and not some other bloke’s? etc). Or is it just none of the above and he’s just happens to be like David Beckham, who only wears them once?

Do I have any helpful male readers out there? Can any of you comment on why a gent will would leave his personals behind in a lady’s boudoir?

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