January 19, 2010

SAM SHARPE

Several years back, my then girlfriend and I spontaneously stumbled into a little role play while about to do the nasty. Nothing too fancy, it was just a run of the mill nurse and patient scenario.

Hot, right?

Well, it was until she rubbed A535 or some similar kind of cream on my sack—without warning me. It initially felt nice and cool, but it got heated very quickly and before you know it I was swearing like a trucker and wondered out loud whether she was trying to kill me (If I remember correctly I think I actually said something along the lines of ‘For fucks sake, are you trying to murder my dude?’). Or something. It took hours for the burning sensation to go away, and maybe my mind was playing tricks on me, but I swore I could still feel the burn a few days later.

That’s the thing with role-play. Spontaneity and all that spur of the moment, flying by the seat of your pants crap can be great, but if you’re going to get into an involved or detailed scenario, you better plan that shit out. Make sure you have firm boundaries for what is acceptable and what is not unless you want your genitals to burn. Or worse.

Here’s another example that clearly (and painfully) illustrates my point. A friend of mine dated a woman who was quite fond of a little spontaneous role-play. She was apparently fond of master-slave scenarios (FYI: He was black, she was white). Well wouldn’t you know it, during one particularly intense session, she popped off and called him a (you guessed it folks)…nigger.

What do you think happened next?

A) They kept going until they both had the best orgasms ever.

B) He was furious, refused to continue, left angrily and never talked to her again.

C) She realized she had potentially offended him, paused and then apologized.

D) None of the above.

E) Both A and C.

I’ve never had anything like that happen, but if any chick called me nigger while we were in the sack, at the very least she’d be buying herself a one way ticket to my bedroom floor (but, I’ve often been told I’m a little tense). This just underlines my earlier point about setting clear boundaries and rules. If boundaries aren’t present your liable to get burned.

By the way, if you answered E, you guessed correctly.

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