January 23, 2010

ELIZABETH ROSE

“I drove all night, to get to you. Woke you from your sleep to make love to you…” – Roy Orbison

I know I keep harping on about Fringe Month here at Metanotherfrog.com, but it’s been quite the wild ride. We’ve covered off many varied tastes, and even managed to get a confessional from Skye on a little kink in her desires. Although it has been an education – we have really been talking about preferences, curiosity and tastes rather than fantasies.

I’ll explain what I mean:

• I’m curious to peg someone.
• Skye and I both have a preference for getting a spanking.
• Rimming isn’t to my taste.

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Fantasies are to me something that is an involving, evolving expression of our innermost desires. If given the chance to flourish, mine would have a backing track, feature regular stars and progress over time. At the start of the 2003 RWC I had a fantasy that I met Jonny Wilkinson, (click here if you doubt why) as the tournament progressed, so did our ‘relationship’. We dated, we kissed, we courted in an old fashioned way and the night before the final we made sweet love for the first time. (I woke up knowing England would win that day, whereas in 2007 I awoke in Paris to the over amorous affections of the Argentinean I had acquired the previous night.)

In my younger days, my fantasies were romantic, rose tinted affairs of finding soul mates and engaging in long, meaningful eye contact. It was almost embarrassing to have the “what’s your fantasy?” chat with a lover as they were all rather PG. As I have progressed into a filth loving slut (and proud of it) my fantasies are now characterized by a lot more nudity, and realistic sound effects like squelching, slapping and gasping.

These days dreams, musings and visualisations all have one common theme; passion, all encompassing, blinding passion. That urgency that only comes with an overwhelming desire to possess another person is the single thread that weaves its way through my subconscious mind. The sort of passion which entices you to do crazy things to satisfy it – travelling long distances to fuck, cancelling everything for another hour of nudity, taking risks to have each other in that very instance.

I think everyone has some thread to their fantasies. For some it may be control (Skye, I’m looking at you…) others surrender. There is probably a psychology textbook somewhere with a chart explaining the link between our fantasy themes and whatever deep seated personality traits trigger them.

My yearning for passion has taken many forms over the years. A favoured one is being surprised by a lover while I’m performing a menial household chore (an easy one to act out as well). I am washing up or preparing a meal when my ‘man of the moment’ decides he has to have me then. The feeling of his hard on pressing against my body as he embraces me from behind, pushing me forward as his hands pull down my… you get the idea where it goes from here.

It also spans out into the wider world, so sitting in a coffee shop and imagining a less than gentlemanly suitor beckoning me to follow him to the facilities, where we tear each other’s clothing in the rush to consume our desires. Time and again though, it’s about the passion. (I do wonder if this is due to an impatient personality, which may be the core reason why I insist on sex on a first date.)

I think this is why porn (mostly German) suits me. The plumber arrives, the housewife is bored and hot, next thing – schnell schnell meine Liebling. Those friends of mine, whose fantasies are still routed in romance, are less keen on my “Deutsch” collection, erotica and “rom coms” are more likely to get them juiced.

Of course, there are those whose secret desires are to surrender control completely. For them the Story of O is a world of wet dreams (to me it’s a well written piece of anti-feminism with a great vocabulary).

I wholeheartedly believe that to gain a truly satisfying sex life, you need to look to your fantasies, find that core message that runs through it and explore it with a willing partner (or sex toy). Start small if you must, if your fantasies are all about group action – try watching some porn while you fuck as a “foot in the door” to inviting someone in. I can recommend some excellent imports.

Of course, if you find yourself being given the eye over a coffee cup by a young lady humming “I drove all night” – you might just want to try your luck for an impromptu session of ’stranger sex’ in the restroom.

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