February 3, 2010

SAM SHARPE

Nothing sets the tone for a relationship like the first date. Maybe you believe in love at first sight. Maybe you’re an online dater. Perhaps you were introduced to the love of your life through a mutual friend. Regardless, it means nothing until you have that first date. The first date is like the first game of the World Series. You are in a position to win the championship and this is the first step to victory. And everyone wants to win Game 1.

Personally, I’ve never had a first date that I would call a total disaster. I’ve had funny. I’ve had boring. I’ve had a quick dinner. I’ve had a full day. I’ve had sex. I’ve done all these things on a first date and more. What I’ve never had is a crappy date turn into a good relationship.

I don’t want to bore you with a list of dos and don’ts, but I will share a few good signs and bad signs.

GOOD SIGN: Laughter. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Nothing is sweeter than the sound of a woman laughing. Get a woman (or man) laughing and even if you look like Quasimodo or dress like Steve Urkel you’ve got a chance. It may not guarantee you a second date or a relationship, but it probably means your date is relaxed (Please note: This is null and void if you actually look like Quasimodo AND dress like Urkel. In that case  your date is laughing AT you).

BAD SIGN: Poor table manners. Nothing says loser or brought up by wolves more than poor table manners. I’m not saying you’ve got to rise every time the lady gets up to go to the loo, nor am I saying you need to know which spoon to use and when. But a little basic etiquette goes a long way. I once went on a date with a girl who belched throughout the evening. And didn’t say excuse me. Not even once. It was disgusting. I did sleep with her though. She didn’t know how to cover her mouth or say excuse me, but let’s just say her open mouth policy had some advantages.

GOOD SIGN: Balanced conversation. I think this one explains itself.

BAD SIGN: She’s not eating. There is nothing worse than being out to dinner with a woman who won’t eat. Or only orders the salad from the starter menu. Are you fuckin’ kidding me? What, are you trying to show some restraint? On a diet? Eat godamnit! A healthy appetite is a good thing ladies.

VERY BAD SIGN: A friend of mine went on a date with a woman who was going through a divorce. Bad enough she talked all night about her dead relationship. But she started sobbing uncontrollably. FYI: Weeping on a first date is a clear indication that you’re not headed for everlasting love. But you might have some good rebound sex (who doesn’t like rebound sex?).

GOOD SIGN: A little mystery. I’m not saying you need to vamp it up. Or you need to play games. Games suck. But a little mystery goes a long way. Not too long ago I went on my first date with Annik (who I mentioned in Simone: Overzealous Nympho or Pseudo-Stalker?). After a pleasant dinner we visited a cute little bookstore. Conversation was nice and easy. I was smitten. I knew I wanted to see her again.

I hailed a cab, opened the door and thanked her for a wonderful evening.

“Can I see you again?” I asked.

Annik sat down in the cab, looked up at me, and said dryly, “It’s possible”.

With that, she shut the door and the cab pulled away. I was a tiny bit flummoxed. But I was definitely intrigued. I thought about Annik nonstop for the next few days. I even cancelled a rendezvous I had planned with this sweet, sweet piece of ass young lady.

Four or five days after our date I received an email from Annik whose subject line read:

Possibility?

The message said:

Thanks again for a lovely time last week. I had said that it was possible for us to go out again, so here I am extending that possibility… what do you say?

We’ve been seeing each other on a semi regular basis ever since. She’s out of town a lot for work, I’m really busy and there’s no conversation about commitment or exclusivity (yet) so there are no immediate plans to get serious. But I have thought about it and I’ve even deleted a few names from my “contact list”. I’ll keep you posted on how it goes.

Share This

---

• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
•