@Shans – noone, least of all me is ever gonna claim that slut card back! If it works out with this fox you may have to stamp “former” across it though!

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I think this whole myth comes from the people who enter into one night stands saying they simply want a ‘good time’ and then wake up in the morning in love and thinking they now have a committed, devoted boyfriend/girlfriend.

After a great hook-up, you may want to go back for seconds, and like you, you may even desire to get a little more of the outside-of-the-sheets connecting that you did with them. And I’m sure if you felt a connection so did they, and as long as you’re willing to pursue things on a casual level and let things naturally progress, no pressure involved, that they’d be willing to do the same.

Honestly, I’ve never done a one night stand before, but I have had ‘casual relatioships’ aka men who will go down on me without being my boyfriend. Ok, so I won’t give a guy head or have sex with him if I’m not in a relationship with him, but I’m down for anything else, and if he’s not cool with my lack of interest in casual reciprocation then we can remain platonic…but then I digress. The point is, I’ve had a couple of those relationships turn into long term (like my current one, which is over 2 years now), but thats because they didn’t try and ‘wife’ me the next day. We let things progress naturally over time, slowly, and there was no overnight “But I thought what we had was special!! I thought I meant something to you!!” drama. Cause if I ever heard that mess I’d be out the door in a flash!

Of course, thats the exact reason I WON’T give oral or have sex with a man who isn’t MY man…I know that for me I would be too emotionally attached and be one of ‘those’, and then inadvertently make him run for the hills. I think if more people recognized and accepted their emotional and sexual boundaries, such silly little myths would cease to exist!

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@Classic Ruby – To quote @Skye, “Two snaps and a hip bump.” I completely agree – know your sexual limitations and all will be well… but as we always say communication is key and when it comes to sex it seems that most men AND women hate to talk – this is why we’re always getting swept up into something that is nothing or doing things our partners dislike… because we’re so afraid to talk and ruin the atmosphere that we don’t talk and ruin the sex.

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@ Classic Ruby and Shans – You two are preachin’ in here today.

Knowing one’s limits and/or recognizing when you’ve crossed them and then falling back as appropriate is important. May take some people a few hit and misses to figure it all out, but being true to yourself is important in the whole dating and mating game.

Re the communication thing – “…because we’re so afraid to talk and ruin the atmosphere that we don’t talk and ruin the sex.”

Shans my dear, I couldn’t have said it better myself.

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So basically i just have a couple questions regarding this blog.
is it not true that your “big first” has recently passed away? and is it not true that you were his first love and vise versa? and is it not true that you wanted nothing than to honor your memories of him? please feel free to correct me if i may be wrong, though i’m sure i’m not. nehow…if you had such a bond with your boyfriend and he was the only thing of importance in your life, and his memory is so strong for you, then why are you prospering in sluttyness via blogs? i’m pretty sure if true love ever existed, one would not pride in sexual encounters and desires. when you love someone….presently with us or not – their memory is honored by on going love and compassion not by sex and relationships that derive from spreading ones legs, or statements such as “i recently found myself in the throws of an evening that was so hot…” I do understand that we all have a sexual energy that needs to be expressed, however, out of respect for your passing boyfriend, and love of your life, keep it to yourself, don’t spread it like a case of herpes.

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@ Mel – I can’t tell if you are a male or a female from your comments, but what I do know is that you have it out for my girl. As much of what you said in your comments, true or not, was not gleaned from any of her posts on this site, I can only assume you know or know of her offline. So, I’m going to make a suggestion to you (and the one named Alexis – as I am assuming y’all are playing on the same “Let’s Hate on Shans” team)…

Keep your personal beefs off of this blog.

Please and Thank You!

S

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@ Skye – LOVE YOU!

@Mel – What I have had with past boyfriends is not relevant to my posting above – My ex boyfriend – who yes, passed away, would have enjoyed the spirit and energy of this blog – in fact he always loved my writing and encouraged me to continue with it. As for the slut comment, Elizabeth Rose and I have both said in the past, slut is a state of mind. I am a proud woman, comfortable in my own skin and if that angers you then either you’re a woman too afraid to embrace her body or a man so wrapped up in his own ego that a powerful woman is enough to make your penis shrink to sizes only previously associated with icy water.

For the record – women everyone should learn to embrace their sexuality and enjoy it instead of being ashamed of it. Just say’n.

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Just sayin is about right!

Alexis & Mel – your judgemental statements are the reason sites like ours exist. Because we all need a break from the smallminded nonsense that girls get stuck with all the time. Sex is fun when undertaken for the right reasons and with the right frame of mind. Your reasons can be love, or it can be for exercise on a week night when you don’t feel like going to spin class. WE don’t judge.
So please – take your show on the road.

@Shans – you are a breath of fresh air to me, in part because we almost constantly agree on this stuff! Lotta of love to you x x

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