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Curiosity Primes the P****
Posted by: Sam Sharpe
Tags:
communication, men, relationships, sex
Posted date:
May 12, 2010 |
13 Comments
May 12, 2010
Stacy was smokin’. She was thick. (In the best way imaginable. She was built like a smaller version of Serena Williams.) Everything about her body was perfect. Thighs that just begged for a pair of cut-off shorts. A flat tummy that breathlessly gave way to breasts that seemed to be giving a five star salute.
Well dread.
That’s what my cousin T and I said about her body. “Well dread.” (That was our way of saying she was healthy.)
And those lips. Stacy had the sweetest pair of lips I’ve ever had the pleasure of kissing. Lips softer than a whisper. But Stacy was easily the worst lover I’d ever had.
She lacked one crucial quality. The one quality that I think is overlooked when people talk about what makes someone a good (or at least attentive) lover…
CURIOSITY.
Think about it.
I wonder if he’s a good kisser.
What does her collarbone taste like?
How does she like to be kissed?
Look at him dance; I wonder if that translates into the bedroom?
God, I hope her nipples are thick.
I wonder if he’s packing?
It looks like he has tattoos? What do they say?
I threw that last one in there for Stacy. See, about eight months into our thang, we attended a friend’s barbecue. As the evening progressed and people became inebriated some random lady asked me about my tattoos (FYI, I have several tattoos on my arms and torso, with one prominently placed on my chest) and wanted to know how many I had and what they said blah blah blah. I played coy, so my interrogator turned to Stacy.
“C’mon girl, you gonna tell me you don’t know nothin’ about this fine piece of man’s tattoos. You don’t know what they say?”
“I never really thought about it,” Stacy said, shrugging. “I’ve never really paid attention.”
That was the rub. She just wasn’t interested (enough). She just didn’t care (enough). She just wasn’t curious (enough).
Stacy wasn’t interested in the obvious and superficial things like what my tattoos said, nor was she interested in finding out what turned me on. There’s a line of thought that people touch and make love they way the want to be touched. If that’s the case, then Stacy does not want to be touched. But I can tell you from first hand experience that she loves to be kissed, caressed, licked and held and…
I once tried to get Stacy to tell me what she liked, what she desired. How she liked to be touched. She gave me a Kanye shrug. Not surprisingly, she didn’t have any questions for me. What Stacy clearly didn’t understand is that though curiosity kills the cat, it also primes the p****.
.
So add to my list of relationship must haves…
A woman who is curious (enough) and cares (enough) to ask herself (and me) things like:
I wonder how he likes to be kissed?
What does he smell like?
Does he have hair on his chest?
Is he a shower?
Or a grower?
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13 Comments for Curiosity Primes the P****
max
Very interesting Sam Sharpe.
I never considered the correlation between curiosity and sex, but you’re making sense.
It should come as no surprise that I am usually too shy to ask questions; but I do pay attention and respond to the non-verbal clues I get.
Like or Dislike: 
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Sam Sharpe
@ vlb,
I’ll give you Stacy’s email and you can ask her.
@ max,
you’re right. no surprise. but I’m sure that even though you don’t ask a man those questions, you’re curious and you think about them…..by the way, whose sexy feet am I looking at?
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RR-HLBB
What?
8 bloody months? Maybe because I like tatts (mmm…full sleeves…Pharrell…wait, what was I writing? Oh yeah) but I would’ve been more like girl at the BBQ. Also, I’ve been picked up with men using the “so what does that mean line?”… This would’ve been a conversation starter; 8 months in, she should be taking more of interest…but then again, from what you described, she didn’t have to.
Stacy is the “crazy beautiful” type we discussed. You’ll see what I mean as I’ll be quoting you later on this evening.
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max
You’re right. I am curious. And that is actually part of my oft-discussed aversion to conversation….I like to let my mind wander to its fullest extent without that pesky reality coming in and mucking things up.
And those would be the feet of yours truly.
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Sam Sharpe
@ RR-HLBB
Even if she didn’t like tats, you’d still think she’d still want to know what they say…hell, i’ve “dated” women who didn’t like tatts and they still had some reaction to them or some comment to make…but, oh well, Maybe Stacy was just a special case (that’s what I hope at least)
@ Max,
How much did you pay for those toes?
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max
I have to say even a mouse like myself would ask questions about the tattoos…how could you not be curious?!? Could Stacy be an even bigger weirdo than I?
And the toes are a gift from the gods. No cash outlay required.
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Classic Ruby
I never put a word to it, but curiosity most definitely is the key. Or at least general interest. Seriously. I understand, say, being too shy to go out of your way to suggest things that you want your man to do to please you, or to directly ask him what he wants…but…once the conversation comes up, if she doesn’t want to contribute…either she’s just not that into you, or she’s just not that into sex…probably because in the years when she was developing her beliefs and attitudes towards sex she wasn’t pleased and took it to be just a “meh” thing..something you do to please your man but that you never really need to enjoy. If thats the case, all I can say is Poor thing…and hopefully she grows some sexual confidence and somebody clues her into the fact that sex is supposed to ACTUALLY be MINDBLOWING so she can finally explore her (and her lover’s) true sexual desires, and have a truly fulfilling sex life
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Connie
Obviously, she was just looking for a human vibrator for her own pleasure!
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Skye Blue
@ Ruby – poor thing indeed.
@ Connie – i’m so glad you finally left us a comment on the site, because it’s a great one. thanks for following us so faithfully on FB.
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Jaysey
Great post–very true…curiosty is definitely important!
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rur
The top on the list of my reason of getting laid is : curiosity.
Sex is just one way to get to know someone (or to thirst the quench), it’s a shame that few people takes long road.
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lifebeginsat30ty
8 months?! Gosh, I can’t imagine exploring everything possible about my lover the first night! If you aren’t interested in your partner, than what’s the point of them being there? Great post!
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how do you sleep with a guy for 8 months and not manage to find out what his tattoos say? or ask him what he likes in bed (wtf?)? i can’t believe that anyone can be so disinterested in their dude so early in the game.
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