May 24, 2010

SKYE BLUE

Okay ladies, today I’m writing with you in mind. Not because I think men have it locked when it comes to enthusiasm in the bedroom, but because I rarely hear women complain about their male partners being unenthusiastic about sex. Yes, we women complain about men’s lousy cunnilingus skills, their imperfect man parts, and go on ad nauseum if they come too fast or ride us too long. But we rarely, if ever rant about their lack of enthusiasm.

In sharp contrast, my boys come to me bawling about the lack of enthusiasm their women exhibit in the bedroom all the time – and it pains me. This seems to be the one area where we females are consistently falling down on the job. So, with that in mind I’m talking to my sisters today, ‘cause something’s got to give…

It seems a lot of you believe you need to be 21^st century courtesans to be considered good lovers – no thanks to magazines like Cosmo (Sam Sharpe’s fave) that continuously publish articles featuring ‘Tips to Drive Him Wild’. Trust me girls, that shit is misleading. You DON’T have to enter the bedroom equipped with a magic kit and a bag of tricks to please your man. Although, I’m a big advocate for doing what you can to enhance and expand your repertoire, I’d like to point out that in many cases all you really need to impress your mate is a shot of enthusiasm. Trust me girls, based on what my boys tell me, a hearty dose of enthusiasm can more than make up for what you may lack in skill.

As I hinted at via my list of questions in It’s All About Your Attitude, bringing a focused mind, being fully present (i.e. staying in the moment) and going for yours with zeal makes for better sex. A big part of batting an A-game in the bedroom is bringing the gusto and setting your mind on ‘wowing’ your guy with every stroke of your hand, flick of your tongue and thrust of your hips. Half-assin’ a situation and coppin’ out with lines like,

“I’m tired. When are you going to come already?”

is absolutely UNACCEPTABLE – and here’s why.

There isn’t a woman on the planet that wouldn’t rip on any man who ‘wimped out’ due to anything akin to tiredness during the act. We all know that no excuse short of bleeding from a severe head wound, could give a man room to cop out in the bedroom. I mean, any man who fails to drive it home for his girl knows his rep and his game will be irreparably damaged – as in FOREVER. Why? Because by the time you’ve finished telling the story of his pitiful performance to your friends, sisters, mother, cousins, female coworkers, etc. that man won’t be able to get next to a female within a 500 mile radius of your house – right?

So ladies, let’s be fair and not do unto others as we wouldn’t ever allow them to do unto us (not without punishing them for it through verbal ‘cockblockery’ anyway). Decide right now that whenever you start something in the bedroom with your man, that you’ll give it your all and see it through until the not so bitter end.

Friends…

If you’re going to bless him with a hand job, lube up and pump that forearm like nobody’s business.

If you’re going to suck a dick, get to sucking it like you mean it.

If you’re going to get on top, ride him like he’s a wild bronco.

If you’re going to peg him, strap one on and…

Well you get the picture.

For the love of God girls, stop pussyfootin’ in the bedroom and go in with enthusiasm.  Hit him hard, fast and long with everything you’ve got and he (and your coochy) will shower you with thanks for it.

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