Not the Whole Truth

Posted by: Elizabeth Rose    Tags:  , , , ,     Posted date:  June 6, 2010  |  10 Comments


June 6, 2010


“The terrible thing about the quest for truth is that you find it.” – Rémy De Gourmont

Communication is the key to many things; good sex, friendship and successful relationships. That is a common theme here on metanotherfrog, both from your hosts and our many guest writers. However, this week’s theme will likely highlight the fact that there can be too much of a good thing, including truth and communication in your relationship.

This week we tackle the misconception that all women want to hear the truth from men. Now maybe most women do want to know their significant other will tell them the truth when it really matters –  I would count myself in that group as well. However there are some things I don’t want to know the truth about. So, as much I’d like to know that my man will always tell me the truth, I also realize that means there are some topics we will and should never broach.

In short, there are some questions no lady should EVER ask her man…

  1. How many woman have you slept with? Do you really want to know? If his list of conquests is higher or"don't you dare look" lower than yours is it a good or a bad thing? Is it any of your business?
  2. Do I look fat in this? If you think you do (and if you’re even considering asking you must), don’t wear it! And don’t have dessert that night.
  3. Were you checking her out? If he’s breathing, then the answer is yes. But as Skye says “unless he’s eye-raping her is it really a big deal?”
  4. What are you thinking, right now? Probably nothing, don’t embarrass him by pointing it out.
  5. Would you come to see Sex in The City 2 with me? Dear Lord, you better be offering up serious sexual favours in exchange.
  6. What do you think of my friend’s new boob job? Asking his opinion on anything to do with your female friends is opening a world of pain. Is there any answer that isn’t going to set off your insecurities?
  7. Did you ever videotape any of your ex-girlfriends? Asking after you have completed your first homemade porn, will not make you feel special.
  8. Can I watch the tapes? If he lets you – welcome to paranoia. “Is he enjoying himself more with her?” If he wisely refuses… you are still in paranoia-city, stuck wondering what is on there that he doesn’t want you to see.
  9. Why did you buy me flowers / jewellery / lingerie? Because he’s been cheating. Or just because he loves you – why not just assume the best and say thank you instead of looking a gift horse in the mouth?
  10. Is it in yet?

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Elizabeth Rose
Elizabeth Rose is our boarding school educated English rose by day and unabashed slut by night. She takes pride in her “work” and wishes to share her feminist rantings and lessons in bedroom etiquette with the wider world.



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10 Comments for Not the Whole Truth
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Zia Zitella

Thoroughly enjoyed the list. Especially the comment, “Probably nothing, don’t embarrass him by pointing it out.”
And #5, what if it’s reversed? I’m back to online dating for my newest “project” and a guy emailed me today and asked if I wanted to go see “Sex in the City.” Unless he was just trying to work “sex” into the conversation, what normal straight guy would ask that question? Ah, he’s foreign. Let’s chalk it up to that.

http://www.ziazitella.wordpress.com

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Sam Sharpe

LOL at #10

My dear Elisabeth Rose, I do love this list….

Totally agree with #2 and

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Chelsea

Although in the position to ask no. 10, I was wise enough not to ask. (but did proceed to share the shortcomings with the girls).

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Dee Dee Tickles

And, I found out too late, that there are things you should never, as a woman share with your man as well. Like how many guys you’ve screwed! In fact, anything to do with any former lover is a no, no. Don’t you agree?

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Elizabeth Rose

@Dee Dee Tickles – I agree whole hearted! Guys are not huge fans of TMI.
@Chelsea – I feel your pain… nothing worse than being in the situation where the sex isn’t worth the energy of taking off your knickers.

@Sam – #5 reminds me of mine and Skye’s trip to see SATC1 as we sat and spied on all the arriving folks. There was a few straight guys coming with their love interests. They were either totally pussy whipped or obviously on a promise. (actually one guy looked like he was there under duress, possibly I should have reported it as a hostage situation…)

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Lena

Or may you, you can actually ask all those questions if you feel like asking them. Thinking about what you can tell your mate and what you can’t is like reading a book on zen buddhism.

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Elizabeth Rose

@Zia – thanks for dropping by and sharing the love. Am checking out your blog next!

@Lena – wise words, I don’t think I’ve ever read a book on Zen buddhism and I take your point that every relationship will have it’s own unique boundaries of communication.
However… I stand by #10 as being an absolute – I can’t imagine that is ever a good thing to say during a sexual encounter. ;)

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melissa

i don’t think the issue is not to ask these questions ever…but to be prepared for the answer if you choose the ask the question. i’ve asked questions and gotten truthful, but not so ideal answers. sure they hurt at the time, but you have to respect the honesty. and if you can get past that, it’ll only make the relationship stronger.

i’ll ask #1, but always take the answer with a grain of salt. and i’ll ask #4 (and i often get asked it) and the answers i always get (and give) are either a) nothing in particular, or b) all the dirty things i want to do with you. soooo…i like #4.

but if you’re asking #8, you deserve what you get. :/

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Lena

@Elizabeth: lol, agreed! Although I have to say, if there is a need to utter those words, may be it doesn’t matter all that much :-)

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Man-shopper

I love lists! And this list is no exception. I wholeheartedly agree with your don’t-ask-don’t-tell policy, lady.

I like to think that my formidable gaze of daggers elicits the whole, unadulterated truth from a man. Therefore, I ALWAYS avoid asking if I don’t want to know. So if I don’t ask, it means that I really don’t want to know. No, really. I don’t. Ever. Ignorance is truly bliss, and I live by that.

I dated a man who constantly VOLUNTEERED the ugly truth — including that time that he told me that I looked like a fat-ass. No wonder things didn’t work out…

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