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Denial Isn’t Just a River in Egypt
Posted by: Skye Blue
Tags:
communication, dating, men, relationships, women
Posted date:
June 8, 2010 |
14 Comments
June 8, 2010
As ER pointed out in Not the Whole Truth and I implied in Top 10 Tall Tales Told in the Bedroom, there are times when it’s best not to ask for or tell the truth to your SO/bed mate. However, it is ALWAYS important to face the realities of your relationship – even the ones you are loath to deal with.
If you choose to bury your head in the sand and ignore the issues that come up between you and your SO, I can almost
guarantee that at some point down the line, you’ll be facing a world of hurt. So to help you avoid being hit by what I like to call a hard-truth-bitch-slap, I’ve put together a list of the tell-tale signs that indicate your relationship isn’t on track. Things we women often overlook, because we don’t want to accept the TRUTH…
- If your man is constantly saying things like: “I need space”, “I’m not looking for anything serious now”, “I’m not sure what I want”, or is just hitting you with silence when you ask him about your future he’s on his way out the door – because as they say, he’s just not that into you.
- If he’s never made any attempt to introduce you to his friends and/or co-workers, and when you run into one of them by accident they have to ask him “Who’s your friend?” to force an introduction – you ain’t his girlfriend, SO or stucky.
- If ‘out of the blue’ your man begins to repeatedly suggest that you start jogging or going to the gym together – there’s a good chance he’s trying to let you know that you’re losing your sexy.
- If you’ve tried leaving your clothing and toiletries at his house on more than one occasion and he either stashes it in some hidden location or chases you down as you leave to hand it back to you – you are NOT the only one. The same holds true if each and every time you’re at his house the waste bins in his bathroom and/or his bedroom are completely EMPTY – just sayin’.
- If you offered to give him a key to your place and he laughed and said something like “Why would I need that?” or he took it reluctantly and then never ever used it – he isn’t interested in cohabiting or giving you unlimited access to his space.
- If every time the subject of marriage or weddings comes up he changes the subject or bolts from the room – he ain’t trying to marry you.
- If you’ve finally gotten him to agree that marriage is the right choice for the two of you and then he proceeds to drag his heels on the proposal (i.e. takes forever to buy the ring, then even longer to propose) – he isn’t exactly overcome with joy at the thought of being hitched.
- If either of you have to get a bit tipsy to have a real conversation or you have to ask one of your friends to bring up a subject you’d like to broach with your mate the next time you’re all together – you’ve got communication issues, and serious ones at that.
- If he hasn’t attempted to have sex with you or you just haven’t gotten around to having sex with him (because you’re busy, tired, stressed or simply not in the mood) in anywhere from a week to a few months (depending on the man) – he’s getting the cookie somewhere else.
- If getting high or drunk together is your regular prelude to sex because it’s the only way one or both of you can fathom getting naked together, what can I say (you can’t see me, but I’m giving you a Kanye shrug)? Perhaps it’s time to consider getting a new dance partner?
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About the author
Skye Blue
Skye Blue is a straight shooting, wayward woman who enjoys discussing all matters related to dating and mating, reveling in oral pleasures, and doing very bad things.
Skye Blue is a straight shooting, wayward woman who enjoys discussing all matters related to dating and mating, reveling in oral pleasures, and doing very bad things.
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14 Comments for Denial Isn’t Just a River in Egypt
Skye Blue
@ Man-shopper – so wish I wasn’t, but based on what I’ve seen and heard from the men I’ve dated and my guy friends – it’s all true. Le SIGH indeed.
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Man-shopper
Oh. My. God. I only JUST NOW got your title. (1) I’m slow. (2) The title is AMAZING.
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Sam Sharpe
LOL @ man shopper, a little slow on the uptake today are we?
Anyway, as a man I have to say I do not support this post. I thought we were friends Skye? I thought you had my back? Now, I’m gonna have girls checking my garbage bins because you went and opened your big mouth. Do you know what this calls for? It calls for a little preemptive strike on my part. From now on, I’m going to have back up garbage. Yeah, you heard me. I’m going to have a secret stash of garbage to put into my waste bins (consider it a kind of “Kitty Litter”, if you follow the pun)…All because you decided to go ahead and tell the “truth”…You can’t see it, but I’m frowning. Right now. At you. Geesh.
Cheers.
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Skye Blue
@ Sam – LMAO! Crossing my fingers that the back up trash will work for you… but i doubt it.
Cheers
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melissa
i notice the garbage thing, and i also notice whether the toilet paper in the guest bathroom is how i left it. i give a little sigh of relief when both are.
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Shans
@Sam Oh my, oh my. That is all.
@Skye #2 is so my fave because well the ex and I were together for an entire year I only visited his house when his parents were away, only met the friends I already knew (doesn’t count) and when I asked why I wasn’t allowed to meet the fam or the friends I was told “Babe, it’s about you and me. Not about what other people think of our relationship.” Worst part I bought it. The next man I date has a 3 month grace period on friends and 6 on family.
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Skye Blue
@ melissa – checking the toilet paper? i would never have thought of that.
@ Shans – all i can say is…oh the folly of youth.
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Shans
@Skye I’m learning dear. It takes time latest manfriend knows exactly where I stand and exactly what the rules are.
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max
This list is dope but it makes me sad that you even had to write it. Ladies should just know this stuff.
And Sam Sharpe I think the backup garbage idea is genius.
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melissa
@ skye yeah, like the amount on the roll? if its where i remember leaving it means nobody’s been there. i don’t necessarily check to make sure that nobody’s been there, but it’s just something i end up noticing and taking note of.
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sweetd
@ Skye- Lovely post malady!!!
@ SAM- That trash stash wont work my friend, you should know by now that women are the ultimate detective. When you think you have everything covered, they find a strand of hair under the bed under a pair of shoes. They can also tell if that strand of hair is from the locks or you know where.
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Ken
As a guy, I can tell you without question that we cannot go more than a month without getting laid. So, yes, if your man hasn’t shagged you in over 30 days… he’s “parking the car in another garage,” to quote Shakespeare.
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Classic Ruby
*Sigh*
This list is SO true and unfortunately I’ve experienced pretty much all of them. Currently though, I’m going through some medical issues over the past 7 months which has unfortunately affected my sex life with my bf enough that at one point it WAS almost 3 months before we did the deed….but we were intimate in other ways, so I’m just hoping he was understanding and loving enough that I was too ill and I was worth the wait.
It could be right? Right? lol Naw, not to be obstinate or anything but I gotta believe that in a very limited amount of situations men are able to overcome their dick-brain and hold out for the woman they love…given extenuating circumstances…which I think we had….
*sigh*
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When you’re right, you’re right, especially #10. I cringed… in recognition of the truthiness. Le SIGH.
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