June 24, 2010

A Guest Post by JESS DOWNEY

The idea that women are too emotional is not an uncommon one. I’m sure that all of you have heard it and that you know how the story goes. Essentially anything that happens to a woman makes her cry simply because she is female (aka a super emotional being that tears up at the drop of a hat).

Women cry when they see a sad commercial or movie. Or even when their bosses yell at them – at which point they’ll run frantically to the elevator and press the button 152 times to make sure they get in before anyone sees them crying. Here’s the thing though. That stuff only happens in movies, which means it’s really just for entertainment (and dramatic) purposes. Obviously there are times when that stuff happens in real life and we women do get emotional about things – but we’re human after all, right?

In sharp contrast to the notion that women are too emotional is the widely held view that men should be the tougher sex: one that should never exhibit certain behaviors. Obviously crying and/or being overtly emotional are definitely on that list. Think about it. When a little boy cries how many times have you heard someone say he should suck it up and stop being a sissy? Is it really possible for him to just wake up as a 30-year-old man and suddenly think it’s perfectly fine for him to cry? I think not. (Side note – I’m not a fan of the idea that boys shouldn’t cry either but that is a whole other blog.)

In my opinion the idea that women are more emotional is a load of crap for two reasons. First women are not emotional based solely on their biology but rather because there are things that we get emotional about. Second men are just as emotional as women, it’s just that women show it more.

I really hate to burst anyone’s bubble (and I’m not going to get stuck on that whole elevator thing), but I can honestly tell you that I have never rushed into an elevator so someone wouldn’t see me cry. And I don’t think I know any woman who has. Besides, is the elevator really a safe option? It will eventually stop at a floor, right? I also can’t remember a single time that I have ever had to fight back tears when I’ve seen  a Hallmark commercial, an injured puppy,  a cute baby, or even while watching Lifetime (but I don’t even get that channel).

Honestly, I have to confess something here – I really can only recall crying one time over the past year. And trust me that’s not because life has been utterly perfect. Plenty of bad things have happened (and I have seen more than a few Hallmark commercials, babies and sad things), but it’s just that nothing tear inducing has transpired in a long while. I am pretty sure if women were as crazy emotional as most people assume, I would have felt the need to cry more than once in the last twelve months, right? Although I am willing to entertain the idea that the lack of tear-filled moments in my life makes me a freak of nature (or just a cold hearted bitch), I think it’s really just because I only cry when something truly makes me sad.

So yes, sometimes I cry and get crazy emotional about things. And yes, I am a woman. These are two things that I openly admit. However, I don’t think one has anything to do with the other. I have emotion because I am human and I cry because I have passion.

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Jessica Downey is a witty single woman who lives in Chicago. She writes about dating and single life and is the author of a blog called All The Single Ladies on ChicagoNow.com.

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