July 27, 2010

A Guest Post by SSDATED

I think finding your kink. Is kind of like finding your G-Spot (for women, I’m still working on the analogy for men). Some women seem to know it from birth, inherent in its qualities. Some ladies doubt its existence, disheartened by time spent searching with no results. And then there’s chicks like me.

We. Are the Christopher Columbuses of Kink.

We are constantly proposing new voyages. Preparing for new excursions.  Always ready to map out some new territory for ourselves. Because after all, we want the world. We want the whole world. I don’t just want a little piece of sexual satisfaction. I want the whole pie. Which sometimes involves a physical exploration of my pie. And other times involves the sorting of my mental laundry basket. Figuring out just what the fuck I like. What I want. What I need. To feel. To think. To be a part of. To be connected to. I have to chart the waters. Conquer the mountains. I have to map this shit out. And that’s what I’ve been doing.

And the thing is. It’s a fucking process. I mean. It’s literally. A Process. In Fucking. And I’m figuring out all the kinks. In my kink. See. I started having sex was I was 18. And back then. It was about power. And feeling hot. And desired. And then I graduated. And for 6 years I was in a committed relationship. And that’s when I really started to test the kinky waters. That’s when I began my journey into the rough seas. But it was still a team situation.  We were co-captains. Me and him. Navigating our way through the kinky deep. And then we broke up.

And that’s when it became about me. Figuring out my kink. Captain, O Captain. I was in charge. Because after all it was just me now. I mean sure enough there were the “somethings” that I was dating. But they weren’t soul mates and I wasn’t attached. And this is my journey. And they are grown men who can take care of themselves. This was new. And it was all about me. So I was exploring. Testing waters. Charting territory. Lush greens there. Return soon. Angry natives there. Do not disturb again. Volcanic eruption on that island. Return with supplies. Land ho! But it’s deserted captain? You’re right. Far too boring on that island. Not a fan of the isolation. Mark it down but move on. And the journey continues.

And this is why, when Skye asked me to write on the topic of “Pain and Pleasure”, I answered with such enthusiasm. Because after all, it’s brand new.  My discovery and navigation through it. Finding my niche within it. And the funny thing is. Though I may still be quite vanilla in my kink. I now know about my vanilla. I know I want high quality. Double churned. Top shelf vanilla. I want Veruca Salt vanilla. I want what I want when I want it. So pay attention boys. Because I’ll only say it once.

Pull.

My.

Hair.

I know. It’s nothing new. It’s not shocking. But it’s important. Because I like it.  Oh. Sigh. How I like it. And what makes it kink. Is that not every chick will like it. Sure there will be lots of others like me who do. And we’ll all be varying degrees on the spectrum. So you have to talk to your lady. Or take baby steps and assess. Baby steps and reassess. And if they’re like me. If they are me. Then go ahead. Because I like it when you kiss me. Tease me. Pull my head away. And hold it. No, not like a little girl in elementary school. Take that man hand of yours. And slide it in under the curls. Close to my scalp. You’re going for pleasurable pain not annoying ouch! Don’t yank. Or jerk. Just pull. Tight.  Close. In control. Show that strength. Control me with those man hands. In missionary. Or from the back. Potentially when my warm mouth is all over that cock (but I’d recommend a double check since this one can be more precarious with us ladies since after all we’re already on our knees).

But I’m telling you this gentlemen. Of this kink I am certain. If you want to make this a repeat experience. If you want to leave me satisfied. If you want a place on my map. Pull my hair. Pull my hair. For the love of pie, Pull my hair.  And if you’re lucky. I might let you be my first mate.

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