ELIZABETH ROSE

Sometimes in my professional life I hear words or acronyms that make absolutely no sense whatsoever. I can cope with this since most of my peers and clients are older gentlemen who are happy to be distracted by my cleavage while I find my bearings.

However, recently I have found the realm of sex is a labyrinth of three letter acronyms (TLAs) or unknown terms. I’ve collected some of my favourites, just for you!

Acronyms aren’t just for your job!

FF – a dyad relationship with two female members

MM – a dyad relationship with two male members

FFF – a triad with three female members

FFM – a triad with one male and two female members

FMM – a triad with one female and two male members

MMM – a triad with three male members

MSM – Men who have sex with men

FWB – Friend(s) with benefits: A friend with whom you have sexual relations with no ties or commitment.

HBB – Hot Bi Babe: A popular term referring to an attractive bisexual woman, often sought after by couples in order to form a triad.

NRE – New Relationship Energy: The experience of excitement and bliss in the early days of a new relationship.

DADT – Don’t ask, don’t tell. Non-monogamous but without any open discussion (so most marriages these days).

DTF – (OK, so this is from Jersey Shore, but still funny!) Down to fuck, meaning a person who is ready to get it on.

Inexplicable or just funny phrases:

Butterface – exceptionally hot body with a really ugly face

Triple bagger – a.k.a butterface, meaning so ugly a bag in needed over their head and your head ,in addition to one by the door in case anyone walks in.

Dirty Sanchez – After anal play, wiping the finger or penis across a partner’s face to give a moustache effect (*shudders*).

Pearl Necklace – Ejaculating onto a throat or upper chest (as well as an unusual 30^th wedding anniversary gift).

Shrimping – Sucking on toes.

Smurf – Slapping a penis in someone’s face.

So people, this Christmas you can give me a pearl necklace so long as we are DADT about the fact I am DTF with a HBB and an FWB as an FFM because I just love that NRE.