December 9, 2010
As I explained in my post Ho Ho OOOHHHH!, this month is all about our favourite things – things that get our pulses racing, nether regions throbbing and mouths watering. Why? Well, we’re hoping that in addition to entertaining you, we may just help you get some extra hot fires burning this holiday season: which of course brings me to the point of today’s post. Pay attention fellas, this one is for you.
Christmas is a time for giving, and if you happen to be a man who is romantically involved with a woman who’s big on receiving gifts – especially from her supaman luva, boo, pappy, lover boy, “stucky” and/or main squeeze – you need to get the whole gift giving thing right… the first time. You see boys, rightly or wrongly, if your lady is like most women, she will look at the any and all gifts she receives from you as a sign of how much you love/adore/appreciate her. Take it from me guys, if your woman thinks this way, you’ve got absolutely NO room for error on this.
So gentlemen, consider this post my PSA for all of you out there struggling to figure out what to get for the woman in your life who says…
“Oh honey, you don’t have to get me anything this year.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll love whatever you get me. I always do.”
“Just knowing you love me is more than enough for me.”
Or some other equally glib comment uttered with such feigned breeziness that your tingling spidey senses tells you she really means:
“You had better pick out something totally amazing for me – all on your own – or your ass is mine Mr. Man.”
For the record boys, as a general rule electronic gadgets that you want more than she ever would (i.e. the extra large flat screen TV to catch the big game on, newest play-station or X-box, etc.) are absolute no-no’s. As are gift certificates for personal training, Jenny Craig or anything else that may lead her to believe you think she’s fat (a very bad move unless you’re looking to be in the no sex zone from now ’til…ETERNITY!). And you can just forget about ‘practical’ gifts like home appliances (i.e. microwaves, blenders and vacuum cleaners), slippers and anything akin to a ‘Cooking for Dummies’ book. Finally, as thoughtful as they may seem, perishables like chocolates, flowers and/or other produce, even if it’s wrapped up in a dazzling gift basket, should also be avoided (unless they are being used as items to supplement your main gift to her).
Now you’re busy asking yourself what’s left to get her aren’t you? Well, my answer to that is this…
You see gentlemen, the truth is that most women love (and by love I mean completely adore and totally yearn for) pretty, shiny and delicately crafted bits of metal, especially if the aforementioned bits of metal are encrusted, inlaid or adorned with gems. And although it may seem that many women are only keen on the very large colourless gems that are often mounted on rounded bits of gold or platinum hued metal (you know the ones they say should cost you three months salary?), let me assure you that colourful gems attached to various metals in all sorts of shapes and sizes make appropriate Christmas gifts as well.
By now I hope you all realize that I’m talking about bling, ice, jewelry. Please note that I’m referring to the insanely beautiful, gasp inducing and Oh-my-God-you-shouldn’t-have-but-I-love-you-so-much-because-you-did shouting kind of bling. And isn’t that the reaction you want when she opens the gift you took pains to find, purchase and gift wrap for her this Christmas? After all, anything that makes her feel that good is bound to put her in the mood to make you feel good. As in really, really, REALLY GREAT (nudge, nudge, wink). That’s right friends, getting her jewelry for Christmas = a win-win-win. That’s one for her, one for you and one more for your man parts.
So, now that you’re clear on what to buy for your SO to make this Christmas a winning one for both you and your junk, allow me to give you just one more tip on how to make shopping for your “99.99% guaranteed ass getting” Christmas gift easier this year.
Don’t bother trudging all the way out to the mall in search of a perfect piece of jewelry. You know you’re just going to be faced with impossibly busy parking lots, overcrowded shops, and the very limited selection at your local jeweler or (worse yet) a department store. Why go through all that when you can easily find a truly inspired piece of jewelry for your SO by simply booting up your laptop and checking out Ice.com?
Ice.com, the internet’s first online jewelry store, features a vast collection of gorgeous jewelry, and to celebrate the holidays from now until December 31, 2010, they’re offering customers a Friends and Family gift of…
$20 to spend on virtually anything in the store + FREE shipping (in the US and Canada)!
To take advantage of their generous offer, after you’ve picked out a spectacular gift or two for your girl, just enter the coupon code FRNDS at the checkout or click here.
Boys, could it be any simpler? At Ice.com you can purchase an eye-catching gift for the woman in your life at a great price, from the convenience and comfort of your own living room. Score you…
And that ever ready “dude” in your pants.