January 20, 2011

CHARLIE

Welcome, bienvenue, willkommen, come on in!

This is the first article in the new fortnightly (that’s every two weeks to non-Brits) column, Full Frontal Nerdity. My name is Charlie and I’m very pleased to meet you all. I am new to the MetAnotherFrog.com team. (First time contributor, long time reader.)

I need to get this out of the way, but you should all know I am a nerd, a geek, a science loving freak: meaning that my interest in sex is mostly academic. (More theory than practical if you will.) However, I hope that my misplaced enthusiasm for text books and research papers will add new and thrilling dimensions to your (sex)lives. I admit, maybe not always thrilling, but at least thought provoking.

How did this all come about?

I know the Met Another Frog team personally, and they are all used to my droning on about the misinformation and poor education on the science of sex. Being a set of fairly opinionated folks, they invited me to provide some of the more interesting aspects in a regular spot on their website.

This has left me spinning in excitement on what to share with the readership of MetAnotherFrog.com. Over the coming months, I intend to give you glimpses into the obsessions of a sex-nerd. This column will feature some of the heroes of sexual, scientific discovery. Those names you know (probably from the movies…) such as McKinsey as well as less well known but just as important such as Legman or Ted McIlvenna (who collected all the wonders of the Las Vegas based Erotic Heritage museum – one of which is featured in the picture above).

All these things are yet to come, as well as a number of pieces aiming to supplement your current knowledge of human biology and sexuality.

I thought I would start this week with the factoid that first enticed the Sam, Skye and Elizabeth Rose to create this column. (This is also an excellent topic for boring dinner parties.)

Did you know men have three types of sperm?

It’s true, all men produce sperm of three distinct types all aiming to perform a different function upon ejaculation. The theory is the proportions in each ejaculate are reliant on outside influences such as likelihood of the female partner having mated with another recently.

Bet they didn’t teach you that at school!

The first type I will mention act as “blockers”. These are sperm that are a bit lame, with funny shaped heads or squiffy tails. They will get as far as the cervix (the spongy entrance to the uterus) and then form a barrier by blocking the channels. This prevents another man’s sperm from a clear run into the womb.

The next type are the mean ones. They are the school yard bullies, these “killer” sperm. They patrol the uterus looking for another team’s players. (Sperm from another man that are identified by the different proteins on the head; much like the away team jerseys for sports.) If they find sperm from another man, they literally rip them apart. Thus protecting the passage through to the egg from any competition.

Finally, we get to the quarterback; the healthy, full complement of DNA, swift swimming egg getters who are out the gates and racing to the finish line to score that fertilisation.

Pretty cool? Makes you look at the damp patch on the bed a bit differently now. And I do hope your next dinner party guests enjoy the education as much as Elizabeth Rose’s did.

Next time some lesser known facts on female bits will be featured, so hope you’ll be back for some more Full Frontal Nerdity!

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For more awesome sperm knowledge, put Sperm Wars by Robin Baker on your wish list!

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