April 28, 2011

SAM SHARPE

Before I get to the heart of the matter tonight, I’ve got a quick aside for all the the Full Frontal Nerdity fans:  Due to some unforeseen circumstances Charlie won’t be publishing a post tonight. But not to worry he`ll definitely be back soon. In the meantime, you`ve got me, and as per usual I have plenty to say…

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As I peruse my social calendar for the next few months I notice a dearth of BBQs and confirmed wild nights out with the boys, but a preponderance of fancy pants soirees requiring me to whip out my three piece and dust off my wing tips. They call these outings weddings. And since some British bloke named Willie just married some lassie named Kate, lots of folks, especially the ladies, are all in a wedding tizzy.

Some people love weddings. Some people hate them. Me? I’m usually indifferent. But with wedding season upon us and with me due to serve as a plus one several times this coming summer I have to admit I might be catching a little bit of wedding fever. Why? I’m not really sure. Maybe it’s because I’ve had some really good times at weddings in the past (really good). Maybe it’s because people often are at their best on their wedding day. Or maybe it’s because weddings often promise open bars, which often open legs people up? But whatever it is Sam Sharpe is all about weddings for 2011.

And because I’m all about weddings I want to talk about weddings. Make that we want to talk about weddings. But not just weddings, we’re gonna talk about bachelor parties. We’re going to talk about sleeping with the best man or bedding down the maid of honour. What’s the etiquette for that? And what do you do if you’ve slept with the bride? Or the groom? Or both?

But wait there’s more…

When we’re not going on about weddings, we’re going to touch on some ‘taboo’ relationship subjects. Topics that are difficult to discuss when you’ve got an SO – whether or not you’re hitched. Things like hanging with the boys at a nudey bar gentlemen’s club, ‘opening up’ your relationship, and thinking about the ex you and your johnson still miss because she used to turn your ass out every night of the week someone else while boning your current flame.

Yes, for the next couple of weeks we’re going to be taking a look at some tough wedding and LTR issues. We promise to do our best to provide you with answers and solutions on how to handle these relationship quagmires, but in a pinch, when we don’t have a good answer I guarantee you we’ll at least have a funny story. After all, who among us doesn’t have a funny/humorous/scandalous wedding or relationship story to share? I know I do: especially ones involving weddings.

On a related note, when Wedding Crashers first came out I sat in the theatre and thought to myself:

“Who the f*ck does that? What kind of person crashes a wedding?”

And then I remembered: I crashed a wedding. Once. But that’s a story for another time.

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