July 10, 2011

ELIZABETH ROSE

“I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.” – Mark Twain

Everyone loves a travel partner; someone who can put sunscreen on your back and prevent you from having to pay for a “single supplement”. However, if you aren’t paying for your own room, where are you going to take those local studs for some international diplomacy? A logical solution is to travel with someone you are sleeping with, thereby foregoing the need to sample into the indigenous penis.

To some that is a little counter-intuitive as surely the point of travelling is to get some international cock sheathed into your nether regions, but there are personal safety issues as well as health concerns in some parts of the world. You are unlikely to go out partying alone as a female traveller in Rio or Jo’burg for example. If you import your own holiday companion you know you have someone to rub lotion into your back before the beach, and to lick it off again after the beach. As well travelling with a male companion gives you an escort and a bit of safety when venturing into less salubrious venues that you would wisely not have visited alone.

But let’s be honest these things are never that simple! While logic dictates that travelling with a buddy who you also plan on fucking is an excellent holiday plan, formulating the plan raises some shocking complications. How do you invite a FB to come on holiday with you? Are they immediately going to assume this is your underhanded way to reverse engineer a relationship with them?

I mean is it feasible to travel with someone that you share a room and a bed and several orgasms with, and not actually be “with them”. Perhaps you could agree in advance on what non-horizontal activities you will share, and which you will do solo. For example, you may both want to go to the same restaurant, but he may choose diving while you drive into the hills. Such arrangements allow for all the benefits of taking a trip on your own where you plan your own itinerary and answer to no one with the security of a guaranteed shag.

I’m beginning to think there is a HUGE gap in the online dating market…

A site on which you register and create a profile advertising your desire to go to a particular destination or on a certain type of holiday. Would be daters would then search according to destinations and window shop through the matching singles.

Hmmm…I might need to patent this idea fairly swiftly. Actually, can someone else set it all up? Preferably in the near future as I have a long trip down under in the planning phase and I would love some company for at least some of my time there. Perhaps it can be affiliated with Expedia? Book flight and hotel, just flight, or flight, hotel and holiday fling.

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