July 18, 2011

SKYE BLUE

Hey all. Tonight I have the pleasure of making a pretty big announcement…

Starting tomorrow, burlesque dancer and sex educator extraordinaire, CoCo La Crème, will be offering up pearls of wisdom, sage advice and answers to your burning questions about everything sex in Love CoCo: a new column to be featured right here, the third Wednesday of every month. So dear readers, if you’ve got a sex related query  that you’ve been dying to have answered, this is your big chance. Just send them in to our girl CoCo (email to be provided tomorrow in the inaugural post of her column) and she’ll provide you with an answer…Just. Like. That.

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. First things first I always say. For the sake of our readers who haven’t had: 1)  the good fortune of seeing CoCo tear up a stage in a sizzling burlesque number; or  2) the chance to attend a sexuality workshop she’s instructed, I thought it would be prudent to formally introduce her to you all – via an interview of course.

So, good people I give you Ms. CoCo La Crème, the new sex advice columnist for Met Another Frog…

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What got you initially interested in being a burlesque performer? CLC: Well it’s something that had always fascinated me. Since I was a little girl I’ve been fascinated by glamour. I’ve looked to dress up and put on make-up and just go to another place. I was always interested in dramatic arts when I was younger and I went to extra-curricular theatre classes. Although burlesque wasn’t necessarily what I first thought of growing up, being on stage has always been an outlet for me and (laughs)…as a little girl I did admire Josephine Baker.

But basically I got involved in doing burlesque because I was a go-go dancer at the Vaseline party, which an historic party in Toronto that was started by my dear friend Will Munro. When it began it was just a really small event and we all came out to support him. I always loved to dance, and he was like, ‘You’re a great dancer. I’d love for you to dance on stage at the party and dress up and be a character.’ I agreed and since I had no other outlets for performing at that time, I got really into that.  About a year and a half after I started go-go dancing, around 2000 I joined Skin Tight Outta Sight.

At the time there were only two troupes – Skin Tight Outta Sight (STOS) and Sasha Van Bon Bon had a troupe – and I happened to know some of the girls in STOS, through the punk scene, which is the scene I grew up in. They asked me if I’d be interested in performing with them, since I was already on stage dancing and making costumes and I said yes. So, that’s how I got started and I’ve been doing it for the last 10 years. Back then there was no real precedent for burlesque in Toronto, because no one was really doing it. So we got to create the scene that we wanted to have.

The indomitable CoCo La Crème!

Skye: In a previous conversation you mentioned the burlesque revival here in Toronto that began just before you started burlesque dancing. Has the revival brought back burlesque in its original form or has the art form been modernized to some degree?

CLC: Yes. The burlesque revival first gained steam in the States, and it took quite a bit of time for it to come to Canada. And although Toronto’s scene has now exploded, it took a long time for the scene to grow from having only the two troupes that were here when I started to where it is today, with so many performers. In the beginning it was very hard to book gigs. People were like, ‘What are you doing? Why do you want to do this?’ (laughs) But now it’s something that has become part of the fabric of the entertainment community which is pretty amazing.

The type of burlesque we’re doing now, what modern audiences see, is neo burlesque. We’re taking what was done in the 20s, 30s, 40s and 50s and reimagining it for a modern audience.  A lot of performers still do acts that are fairly traditional, but I think some performers, myself included are taking it to a very different place.  You’ve got to know where you came from to know where you’re going so it’s important to recognize the history but I think it’s so exciting to see something new that you totally weren’t expecting.

Skye: How did you come up with your stage name, CoCo La Crème?

CLC: Well I had always wanted to be called Coco, because I loved the name. It reminds me of the French, which was inspiring to me because Josephine Baker was one of my icons. It also reminded me of Coco Chanel, who was a very elegant bitch, and I loved that. And I wanted something that reinforced the idea of a delicious chocolate treat, which is where the ‘La Crème’ part came in. I wanted it to sound like something that was delicious, dessert like and absolutely at the top.

Skye: Where will you and the rest of the STOS Troupe be performing over the summer months?

CLC: I won’t be performing a ton this summer. I’m taking a bit of a break. But this summer you can expect to see me and other members of STOS at The Toronto Burlesque Festival, which runs from July 21-24. It’s a fabulous international festival, and this year it’s focused on Canadian talent specifically. I’ll be performing at the Opening Gala, on Friday July 22, at the Gladstone Hotel, and you can catch other members of STOS throughout the rest of the festival. I’ll also be performing at the Atomic Cherries show on August 12^th.  And the troupe will be beaching and burlesquing at the Wasaga Beach Rockabilly Weekend September 2^nd and 3^rd.  Then it’s back to a more intense schedule in the fall.

Skye: I’ve seen you perform a few times and I have to say you really command the stage when you start dancing. In contrast from what I can tell you’re a relatively demure personality in your day to day life. Does performing give you a chance to express a side of yourself wouldn’t get to otherwise? And how much does the crowd’s energy impact your performance?

CLC: I would say that performing absolutely gives me a chance to express a side of myself that I really need to express. In my day-to-day life I’m kind of a shy person, and I’ve always been that way. As a child I loved theatre classes, because it was an outlet that allowed me to step into a different persona. And I feel that I would really suffer mentally if I didn’t have performance as an outlet. (laughs) Sometimes I just really need to take up space and affirm my sexiness to myself, which I feel is really important and is something that every woman should have the opportunity to do. Whether it’s performing on stage or having a fierce walk as you walk down the street, I think that you need to have something that you do that allows you to feel like the sexiest, fiercest woman on earth. Everybody needs that.

And the energy of the crowd impacts me hugely when I perform. I love to feed of the energy of the crowd. It’s so important to me. I feel the energy that a crowd gives you can make or break your performance. But it’s definitely a performer’s responsibility to draw that energy out of your crowd. You need to almost be able to connect with them on a psychic level, and give them what they need to let go and give back to you. That’s something that I really enjoy. Figuring out the audience, playing to them and then sucking all that energy up, kind of like a vampire. It really propels me. I love it.

Skye: Has your work as a burlesque dancer/sex educator impacted your dating life/relationships? If yes, for better or worse? CLC: For the most part I think it’s impacted it for the better. Like I said, being able to perform makes me a better, happier and more mentally healthy person. Also, without the ability to perform and speak to people I think I wouldn’t be as good in my role as a sex educator. When you teach workshops there is an element of performance there. You have to address the crowd and relate to them, and feed off their energy.

As far as how it impacts other parts of my personal life (laughs)…I think it’s had a positive effect for the most part. I’m very lucky that I can talk very comfortable about sex; something that I think is difficult for most people. Your ability to openly discuss and communicate your thoughts and feelings about sex makes such a huge impact on your relationships, so I’m very thankful for that.

I’m engaged now and partnered, in an open-relationship that’s fabulous. But during the many years that I was dating it was often awkward to talk about what I do for a living on first dates. People have certain assumptions about who you are when you’re a burlesque performer and sex educator. When you tell somebody that on the first date, they are like, ‘Ooooh’. I don’t know…I think it can bring out the sleazy in people a little too early, when it wasn’t really sexy to be sleazy yet.

On the other hand for some people it was intimidating, because they felt that I was more sexually experienced and better in bed than a lot of people. Of course that’s not true. If just means that I’m more communicative about sex and more comfortable talking about it. It doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m having more or better sex than the average person. (laughs)…I mean that’s all relative and about your preferences, and what you like. So, just because I talk about sex doesn’t mean I’ll have great sex with you personally.

Skye: For the sake of our readers who may be contemplating trying burlesque, what does one have to do to become a burlesque dancer? What kind of training is involved?

CLC: That’s a very interesting question, because at the time I became a burlesque dancer there was no precedent. I’m not a trained dancer, I just love to dance. Back when the scene first started we trained ourselves, got people to give us a chance to perform, and created a scene and a movement here. So, it’s hard to say now, what the experience of people who are new to the scene would be.

I guess you’d start by taking workshops, which are available now – they weren’t when I started out. Taking regular dance classes, in any sexy dance discipline: pole dancing, belly dancing, latin dance, even ballet. All of it is applicable. Or maybe get involved in theatre. Not all of burlesque is focused on dance. There’s a whole theatrical aspect as well, and skits like that. So I think those are really good places to start and get involved.

Also, you really need to get out there and watch the people who are doing it already, see whose style you identify with and meet people. It would also be a good idea to volunteer at shows and help out in some way, so people in the scene get to know you. Then develop an act of your own, so if you’re ever offered the opportunity on stage you have something to show them.

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Skye: In your opinion what is the most challenging thing about being a burlesque performer? The best thing?

CLC: One of the most challenging things about being a burlesque performer is that fact that within our community we consider ourselves artists, but the art’s establishment considers burlesque to be entertainment. So, as a burlesque performer you can’t apply for council grants and things like that, because it’s not considered to be on the same level as other forms of dance or performance art.  So, that’s really challenging.

I do acknowledge that burlesque is quite entertaining; however, there is a lot that goes into creating it. For a lot of us, including myself, we’re entirely self-created characters. I make everything that I wear on stage myself. The character is a character that I’ve developed over many years. So, I don’t see myself as really different from a performance artist who gets a spot in an exhibition or gallery.

I believe that in part the sexual aspect of burlesque causes this problem, which is really interesting as a lot of art addresses sex. But I also think it has a lot to do with the venues it takes place in, which are generally night clubs. To me that’s what makes burlesque so interesting as an art form, the fact that you are engaging with your audience in a different context. So I find it very interesting, because musicians and independent filmmakers can get grants even though they’re creating entertainment. I guess burlesque is just not high-brow enough for some people. (laughs)

There are some exceptions, mostly in the States, where you see some burlesque performers working in museums and things like that. Even here in Toronto, I’ve been asked to perform at arts festivals and it’s very clear that I’m being asked as an entertainer, while other friends of mine who work in a different discipline are asked to perform as artists.

The best thing in my opinion is the costumes (laughs). Being able to dress up and transport yourself to a different world, taking on a persona and having that level of self-determination is so empowering. As somebody who grew up in a society that doesn’t place my body in sort of the top tier of beauty and esthetic, who didn’t grow up feeling beautiful in the society that we live in, I really love that I can take that power back. I can create this character, go out on stage and say, ‘you may not have realized how sexy I am, but when I’m done you’re going to know it.’ I love that I just force that on people, and that’s what I feel like I do. I make that impossible for people to deny and I love that.

Skye: Is that the feedback you often get?

CLC: Oh yeah, that’s totally the feedback I get. And sometimes that comes across in a positive way and sometimes in a not so positive way. It’s funny, for the most part people are really amazed, and so it can be a cool thing or a sad thing. When somebody comes up to you and says, ‘Wow, the fact that you were up there on stage and you don’t have a stereotypically model type body is amazing.’ That’s great, I’m really happy that that person feels empowered by that, and see different types of beauty. But it’s also sad, right? It’s sad that it’s such a revelation for people. Then there are other people who say, ‘Oh, that’s such a brave thing to do’ and I’m kind of like, I feel gorgeous so I don’t think of it as brave, I think you’re lucky. (laughs) I don’t say that to people, but there are many times when I’ve wanted to.

Skye: Burlesque seems to be very popular these days. What is it about this form of dance that so intrigues audiences?

CLC: I think the fact that it’s so witty. You can go to a burlesque show and still be surprised. Some performers are more innovative than others but I still think there’s a humour, and a fun kind of insouciance that surrounds burlesque that I think audiences really connect with. I also feel that it is really important to have a kind of performance where all kinds of bodies are glorified, so you can see bodies of all different shapes and sizes.

As someone who teaches, I can definitely say that a lot of people feel that the only people who are allowed to stand in the spotlight are celebrities, who are all thin. And although I’m not knocking thinness, I just love that there’s diversity in the scene. You can see all kind of shapes and all kinds of people. And the reality is that people are attracted to all kinds of shapes and all kinds of people, and they don’t get to enjoy that anywhere. They don’t get to open a magazine and enjoy that, they don’t get to turn on the TV and enjoy that. So I think we give people a place where they can come and say what I find sexy is valid.

Skye: Would you say there are lots of opportunities for up and coming burlesque performers in Toronto?

CLC: I say they are and they aren’t. For somebody coming out with new and innovative ideas, I think there’s always space for that. And if the Toronto scene wants to grow and evolve, and continue to really amaze people, then it has to allow for that. On the other hand the burlesque scene in Toronto is very saturated, and there are a lot of people into it right now. There are a lot of troupes and solo performers, so it can be difficult to get your share of the market and the audience, which is why it’s so important to be original and different.

Skye: Okay, so you’ve just spoken about the diversity of body types and the need to be original to get noticed if you’re just entering the scene. So, would you say there is a lot of ethnic/cultural diversity in the scene and if not, would being from a group that in underrepresented in the burlesque scene work in someone’s favour?

CLC: The burlesque community is not really diverse ethnically or culturally. However, there are audiences and events that would be appreciative of that kind of diversity, just as there are audiences and events where it’s not an important factor. Personally I really enjoy performing for communities that I identify with and feel that it’s a fabulous opportunity when such events come my way.

As far as whether or not being ethnically or culturally different is advantageous, if there was a burlesque troupe made of all visible minority people, they would have to look outside of the burlesque audience that normally attends burlesque shows to find their audience. I don’t think, to be honest, they’d get the same audience that the current burlesque troupes would get. But I don’t think that’s about burlesque and I don’t want to disparage burlesque audiences, because I think that’s just the world in general.

Skye: Many women believe they are too big, skinny, flat chested, etc. to get up in front of one person or a crowd to perform burlesque. What would you say to women whose body image issues are making them shy away from burlesque?

CLC: Whatever it is about your body that differentiates you from the main stream ideal of beauty is actually what makes you unique and beautiful. So, although you might think you have small tits and that’s not acceptable, there are people who are going to love your small tits. You might think my ass is too big, but guess what? Someone is going to love your huge ass. There are these things about our bodies that we pick out as being different, but those differences are often what make us gorgeous to the people who are attracted to us. So instead of denigrating your differences, you have to really celebrate them, and realize there really is no beauty in conformity.

Skye: One of the workshops you teach at Good For Her is called Burlesque the Art of Tease. What can someone who attends the class expect to learn?

CLC: Well they can expect to learn some classic burlesque moves, like the bump and grind, as well as a lesson in pasty twirling – which you don’t have to do with your breasts exposed or at all if you feel uncomfortable – you can do it over a bra. And everyone leaves with a little routine to take home.

Skye: What compelled you to become a sex educator?

CLC: Actually what compelled me to do it was wanting to make my own sex life better. (laughs). At a certain point in my early 20s I became really fascinated with sex. I had always been interested, but I was not comfortable in the bedroom and I wanted to own it. I wanted to be comfortable, I wanted to orgasm with abandon and feel that I was giving my partners what they needed as well. And I had to really learn how to do that. It took a lot of education, self education, reading, and advice from other people.

I realized how important it was – it’s so important to your life and your health and well-being. I really just became passionate about it. Everybody needs to have access to good sex education and it’s something that is sorely lacking in our society. We don’t talk about sex in any realistic terms ever. (laughs) Everything is smoke and mirrors, and everybody is supposed to figure out how to have fabulous sex without ever having to think or talk about it. And it’s so damaging, so I just really wanted to be a part of trying to correct that in our society. Luckily, I’m very comfortable talking to people about sex.

Skye: Based on your experience as a sex educator and staff member at Good For Her what do you think are the main misconceptions women have about sex and their bodies?

CLC: One of the main misconceptions I see again and again is that women feel there is something wrong with them if they can’ t orgasm through penetrative sex. So it shows that we don’t understand our own biology and that we are not educated at even the most basic level. Making penetrative sex the focal point for female orgasm is really a disservice to female sexuality. It makes it seem as if penetrative sex is more important to most couples than female orgasm.

It’s a painful issue for a lot of women, and they feel inadequate because it’s something that they’re bodies don’t do. But it’s the case for the majority of women. You need to stimulate your clitoris, ladies.

Skye: Any final thoughts you’d like to share with our readers?

CLC: Life is so much more enjoyable when you have an inquisitive attitude. So just continue learning and seeking out new experiences. It’s the best way to enrich your sex life and have fun.

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