Gettin’ Around: A Monthly Review of Sex News and Events, September 2011

Posted by: MetAnotherFrog Admin    Tags:  , , ,     Posted date:  September 27, 2011  |  No comment


September 27, 2011


JON PRESSICK

If you’ve ever caught any German porn, you’ll probably come up with a few words like, odd, weird and possibly even disgusting to describe their taste in sex (hey, whatever bulges your lederhosen, no judgment here). But maybe the best word to characterize their sex is the oft-used efficient.

Recently, the city of Bonn installed meters for street-active sex workers to ensure that they too pay the proper taxes that all other local sex workers pay. In much the same way you would pay to park your car on the street, these workers now pop six Euros into a machine to obtain a ticket that they must present to authorities upon request to avoid facing a significant fine.

One knock on this set up is that the street workers already pay income tax on their earnings. However, this new fee isn’t just a tax grab. The city has built specific garages where customers can take their chosen sex worker and engage in lederhosen bulging. The city also provides specific security for these areas.

These are progressive and effective methods to ensure sex workers aren’t harmed by their clients. Many ‘johns’ need the anonymity they are afforded by  dealing with street workers, as opposed to entering one of the city’s brothels. Hell, maybe it’s a timing issue. But I do wonder what happens if a session runs over time?

Wait, a guy run over time? Okay, no worries there.

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There is no doubt a teacher can have a tremendous influence on children’s lives. But should we expect them to be role models? Do we want them to be role models?

"Johnny Anglais"Benedict Garrett, aka Johnny Anglais, recently waged an appeal after he was suspended from his teaching duties when his online alter-ego was discovered. Through his website he offers naked butlering, stripping, fitness training and other services. The General Teaching Council (GTC) offered him his job back if he quit this part-time work.

This story is yet another example of the staid and proper British. The argument of the GTC is that it would be improper if students were to happen upon Johnny Anglais and then recognize him as their very own Mr. Garrett. His poor pupils would get the wrong idea. Oh right, think of the children.

Or, try this: Sex and the Internet isn’t going away. People offering sex-related services aren’t going away. Maybe, just maybe, we should try teaching kids that these things exist. People like to get naked for money. People will clean your house for money. There are even some people who will come along and do it for free!

Nope, let’s just  continue to operate under the assumption that if we shield kids from anything sex-related they won’t learn about it, and  better still, they won’t ever, ever engage in it.

I wonder if Mr. Garrett teaches mathematics. Maybe he and his students can determine the probability that that theory is bullshit, to the nth degree.

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I was recently in Ottawa and we took a stroll down the Rideau after dark. We came across a guide giving a ghost tour of the area. In New Orleans, I sneakily followed a tour through St. Louis Cemetery. Here in Toronto you can do a city tour on a bus that also goes into water. But the tour I most want to take is in Montreal.

Velma Candyass, burlesker extraordinaire offers a fascinating peak into the grand and seedy days of Montreal’s lower Main with her Red-Light Walking Tour. In the latest example of a city repressing sex, Montreal is trying to clean up the area and let gentrification run rampant. By taking people through the areas that have titillated celebrities and common folk alike for decades, Velma hopes to maintain and encourage a sense of collective determination to keep the area that right kind of dirty.

A victory in this battle was won recently when landmark strip and burlesque club Café Cleopatra was saved from the wrecker’s ball. If you’ve been to downtown Montreal, you’ve surely seen it. With the city being a significant centre for the neo-burlesque movement, the Cleo offers its upstairs space as a venue for the tassel and not-just-tits crowd. Denying the rich sexual past of the town, and worse yet, taking it all away would ensure that Montreal loses its reputation as the Paris of North America. It would also make it a lot less fun.

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So, what do female orgasms and men’s nipples have in common? My first answer is “I like them both!” and my second answer is “They taste great!” We’re not even going to get into my next 10 answers because I think you get the point.

According to some researchers, what these two things have in common, is that they may both  be evolutionary by-products. While not a lot of time and study is being put into the little additions on men’s chests, women’s sexuality continues to be studied and researched to death. I’m not really sure how the question of “why do women even need to orgasm?” first came up, , but I suspect there is quite a bit of curiosity on that.

If you look at sex as purely a procreative act, then sure, women don’t need to come. Some have suggested that women get the O to ensure they’ll want to keep having sex and therefore keep popping kids out. Others think there are contractions that happen that ensure the ‘upsuck’ of semen.

The by-product idea comes into play when male and female bodies are compared. Because there is much shared genetic make-up, some believe that women are able to get off because they share nerve endings similar to those of men…so it is just a happy coincidence that ladies can scream with joy like dudes.

While the reason why women can orgasm is somewhat interesting in our ‘have to know everything world,’ I think the more compelling course of study would be a paper on “Why researchers are so damn obsessed with female sexuality?” We have figured out how babies happen. We have figured out that there is a G-Spot. We have figured out that some women like X, some like Y, and some like Z. Why do we need to keep researching women’s sexuality? Is it that men are too boring? Is it because we want to explore all the mysteries of the world?

But I would argue that female sexuality isn’t a mystery. Women come. It happens.


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