Like Kids in the Playground

Posted by: Skye Blue    Tags:  , ,     Posted date:  November 7, 2011  |  Comment


I know. I’m late…again.

Sorry for the delay in posting, but I was hella tired last night after a busy weekend of learning, playing, laughing and even schmoozing at Playground,

"samantha and dahlia"

Samantha Fraser, Executive Producer of Playground (pictured on left), with Dahlia Darling.

organized by none other than Samantha Fraser, which I previously mentioned here, this weekend. And for those of you who didn’t manage to get there, you missed a really, Really, REALLY good time…as you’ll soon see after taking a gander at the highlights below.

Sam and I arrived at the Gladstone on Saturday at 840am, bleary-eyed and not so bushy tailed, to make sure we got the chance to hear Lux Alptraum’s keynote address. Though we both looked and felt more than a little wilted as we took our seats, within minutes of Lux beginning her speech on the need to move beyond just being Sex Positive to being Sex Smart, the two of us, along with the rest of the audience were listening in rapt attention. It was immediately clear that losing a little shut eye to hear what she had to say was going to be well worth it.

"Lux's keynote"Sex positivity is not enough because it focuses solely on adults. But if our focus is adults we’re already too late. The damage has been done by the time we’re “old enough” to talk about sex. We need to go beyond Sex Positive. We need to be Sex Smart. – Lux Alptraum

During her speech Lux highlighted the: 1) fact that most of what we see in the media about sex is negative, which skews our perceptions about sex and what is happening around the world; 2) lack of and need for some kind of structured cultural literacy about sex in our society; and 3) the many benefits choosing to work toward viewing and treating sex as a basic part of a whole life – not as ‘other’, different or special.

We don’t call eyes, ‘blink-blinks.’ Why not teach children to call a penis a penis? – Lux Alptraum

According to Lux, we as adults need to teach kids – in an age appropriate way – that sex, the body parts involved in sexuality and the pleasure they give us is normal and ok. We need to instill kids with a sense of pride and comfort in their bodies, and teach them that being Sex Smart means:

Knowing yourself, in addition to protecting and respecting yourself, as well as others.

Soon after getting a wakeup call – both literally and figuratively – from Lux, I left Sam in the Ballroom and headed to the Art Bar to get some insight into The Art of Dirty Talk. What to say? Hilarity and all kinds of hotness ensued.  Amy Jo Goddard, the presenter, wasted no time getting us all talking about the pros (why we choose to use) and cons (what holds us back from using) dirty talk when we’re canoodling with our mates, so we could get down to some ‘field work.’

Amy instructed us to pick phrases in the following categories: Romantic, A little Naughty, Down Right Dirty and Wild Card (can you guess what category I picked from)? Needless to say, practice time was a barrel of laughs – and in some cases spine-tingling inducing hotness to boot. I got to tell at least six

"amy jo hosting"

Amy Jo Goddard hosting the Dirty Talk Olympics, while the 'Vanna White' of the evening looks on.

people to ‘Eat my…ahem’, using a variety of tones and decibel levels. Then, when Amy told us to pair up to drop our fave bit of dirty talk on our partner, lucky me ended up in a threesome. And when I dropped my line – which I’m so not going to share with you all…today at least – on them, it was high fives all around. What can I say? I have a well-honed potty mouth.

And I did my best to put that potty mouth to work at my fave part of the event later that night…

The Dirty Talk Olympics.

Talk about good times.

Just stripped on stage & had necro tongue dirty talk orgy. Fun times – Live tweeted by Kendra Holliday during the Dirty Talk Olympics

Stretch your mind and your sphincter will follow. – a direct quote from one of the judges (I can’t remember who) during the judging of one of the Perverted Playful Pussies scenes on stage.

There were four teams – Five Fist F*ckers for Heather, Slippery When Wet, Cunt F*cky Derby (creative or what?) and my team, Perverted Playful Pussies; a very cute host named Amy Jo; and three VERY  randy judges – Dr. Ruthie, Carrie Gray and Reid Mihalko (pictured from left to right above).

The competition was fierce and funny, and for a while we were in the lead. But

"CFD worship Reid's taint"

The CFD team worshiping Reid's taint.

then CFD pulled a trick out of their ass – or more correctly out of Reid’s ass – for the win. I could say more, but you really had to be there. Besides doesn’t that pic (and the two quotes above) tell you all you need to know?

Moving from feminism to submission makes sense in very real ways. Feminism is hard. It’s about fighting… Submission is about letting go. It’s a place where I don’t have to fight. – My very poor paraphrasing of a comment by Stacey May Fowles (Apologies folks, but I can only write so fast).

On Sunday, I arrived right on time for the Feminism and Submission panel discussion, where a moderator and four panelists – all female – detailed their respective journeys to feminism and submission, before explaining that for them feminism and submission were not mutually exclusive. What most impacted me during this session was the fact that all the women on stage, including the moderator, had been judged by other feminists as not being feminist enough based on their choice to be submissive to (horror of horrors) men. In fact, Emma Woolley, the moderator, told the audience that she’d been critiqued – heavily – online for admitting that…

"Heather and 'Vanna'"

Heather, one of the panelists on the Feminism and Submission panel, with 'Vanna'

She enjoys being seen as attractive.

What. The. Fuck?

As some wise soul (whose name I didn’t catch) pointed out shouldn’t we stop fighting each other and all the debating of whose version of feminism is the most correct or purest, and focus on the folks out there who are really our enemies (like the folks responsible for this right here)?

Anyhoo, moving on…

The Sex and Religion (i.e. Christianity) session, led by Kody Hersh was the last discussion I attended and it was a good one. Kody used scripture from the Bible to highlight the fact that sexuality was often celebrated in the Bible, as well as the fact that Jesus never touched on homosexuality, pre-marital sex or rules guiding relationships. But the stand out moment for me was when he asked us to partner up to discuss…

What were the positive impacts of religion on sex?

For a more than minute I was completely stumped. In fact, my whole body balked at the notion. The idea that religion could have a positive impact on sex was pretty much unfathomable to me. I had easily rattled off all of religion’s repressive and negative influences on sex moments before, but I had to think long and hard before I came up with something positive.

The experience opened my eyes to my own very biased views about religion. And they were opened even more when at the end of the session another attendee pointed out how refreshing it was to come to a conference about sex and be able to say Jesus without the building catching fire. The exclusion of religion in sex positive spheres had never even crossed my mind. Clearly, I need to participate in such discussions need more often.

Okay, I’m about to wrap this one up, but before I do let me say this…

Based on the great response and overwhelmingly positive feedback it looks like Playground will be happening again next year (HOO-F’IN-RAY!). I plan to be there for sure, and you should too. That is if you’re smart, consider yourself to be even a little bit sex positive, and you like to have loads of F-U-N.