November 24, 2011

SKYE BLUE

… in an era where hardcore porn is more freely and widely available via the internet than ever before, and where kids are therefore accessing it an earlier and earlier age than ever before, there is now an entire generation growing up that believes that what you see in hard core porn is the way that you have sex. – Cindy Gallop

As we’re smack dab in the middle of our month long discussion of how our family of origin and our upbringing shapes our sex, dating and relationship life, I thought it would be a good time to tell you about Cindy Gallop and her company MakeLoveNotPorn.

So who is Ms. Gallop and what is her site all about, you ask?

Will, Cindy Gallop is a self-described confident, mature and experienced older woman, a marketing and advertising expert, and the CEO and Founder of two companies, the most well known being MakeLoveNotPorn.  She is also a woman who chooses to date and sleep with younger men, specifically Gen Yers – men in their 20s. A fact that, unfortunately for her (and very fortunately for us), makes her particularly suited to creating a site like MakeLoveNotPorn.

You see folks, based on her penchant for much younger men, Ms. Gallop encounters the very real problem that virtually any women who chooses to bed a Gen Yer would face:

Dealing with a man who actually believes, in his heart of hearts no less, that to put in a good performance in the boudoir he needs to bang you like a porn star.

Much like the writers of these posts here and here, Ms. Gallop claims that on many occasions she’s had to politely decline her partners’ well intentioned attempts to treat her like a adult film star by offering to ‘cum on her face’.  In these likely awkward moments (if only for the party whose very kind offer has been summarily rejected), she quickly sets about reeducating, rehabilitating and reorienting her young partners about the shocking (for the man in question anyway) truth. Real life sex is not at all like the fantastical depictions of it featured in hard core porn.

Hardcore porn has become by default the sex education of today. – Cindy Gallop

Enter MakeLoveNotPorn, a site dedicated to debunking common myths – all truisms for most Gen Yers – about sex that are propagated by hardcore porn, by juxtaposing ‘Porn World’ myths with ‘Real World’ truths about sex. (And before the porn aficionados start hyperventilating, let me add that MakeLoveNotPorn is neither about passing judgment on what is “good” or “bad” sexually, nor is it anti-porn. Check it out for yourself, you’ll see.) Gallop made the bold decision to put up her own money to create her company and its accompanying website because of her concern and fears for our society. She simply couldn’t stomach the idea of a world where:

1. Young men everywhere believe – because hard core has taught them – that all women love it when men cum on their faces.
2. Young girls across the globe are acquiescing to having their boyfriends cum on their faces and acting as if they like it – even when they don’t – because hardcore porn has taught them that all men love cumming on women’s faces and that all (i.e. normal) women love it.

Cindy Gallop: Make Love Not Porn from L2 on FORA.tv

And based on the overwhelmingly positive response she and her site have received since she launched her company at TED 2009, it’s clear that she is not the only one who thinks Gen Yers lack of understanding of the difference between porn and real world sex is one of the most serious problems facing society today. (FYI: Hers was the most talked about presentation at TED that year, donations pour in everyday from all over the world, and she can’t keep up with the steady flow of emails offering praise and/or the stories of males and females alike who have encountered the ‘I fuck like a porn star’ problem.)

The average age that most kids first view porn: 11

The fourth most search term among seven year olds today – after Facebook, YouTube and Google: PORN

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