January 10, 2012

SAM SHARPE

Yesterday I was moody. Irritable. Maybe irascible. I couldn’t figure out why. Then Lucy Laroche, one of my “superiors” walked past my desk. I wanted to eat food off her a$$. It is so round. And perky. It’s almost as if she stuffs a cherub down the back of her pants every morning before she leaves for work. Did I already mention I want to dine on her behind? Anyway, while being hypnotized by her posterior parts I realized I’m in dire need of sex. I need to clear the wheels. Clean the pipes. I need release. And masturbation will not suffice.

Whatever.

It’s a New Year (seriously, how long do we have to keep talking about it being a new year? Until the 15th? The 21st? February?), one that promises exciting new adventures and one that hopefully doesn’t see me still sitting at my desk contemplating which foods would taste best eaten directly from Lucy Laroche’s backside. Because really and truly that is just perverted and pathetic. And maybe a little disgusting. Unless of course Lucy’s reading this and wouldn’t mind serving as a human lunch tray. In that case, Lucy my cell number is…..

…Wait, what was my point? Oh yes, New Year, new adventures. But before I can get to those new adventures I need to share some of my favourite MAF  stories from 2011. Consider it part of my cleansing process. Y’know, out with the old and in with the new.

The Pros & Cons of Homemade Porn –  by Tenacious Ken (Who couldn’t use a homemade porn primer? Plus our friend Ken is a fine story teller).

Automotive Coitus – Sam Sharpe (Vroom, vroom!)

How Skye Got Her Groove…Back – Skye Blue (Believe me, it was about time).

No More Bedroom Blasphemy – Elizabeth Rose (Alleluia, Praise the Lord!)

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