June 14, 2012
Folks, today I dug into our archives and found a post I wrote at a time when I was very confused confusion/reeling in my disbelief about the way people – mostly men – responded to me upon learning that I write for this blog. Though I’ve long since learned that it’s best to keep my love of writing about dating and sex to myself until I understand who I’m dealing with, I think the sentiments expressed below are still timely for anyone who clearly demonstrates an interest in writing, discussing or even studying sex.
Now we here at MetAnotherFrog.com have been in the blogging game for just over six months and thus far we’re all lovin’ it. We’ve made some new friends, laughed our guts out at the comments many of you have left us and learned a whole lot about dating, relationships and our fave topic, sex. Although it’s been a hell of a lot of work, I’ve enjoyed every minute of working on this blog. That said, over the last few months I’ve noticed that there are three very prevalent ‘myths’ that seem to swirl around people, particularly women, who like to talk and write about sex.
Myth#1: We Have a Lot of Sex – Like All the Time
Often when I tell people (i.e. men) I’m a sex, dating and relationship blogger I hear things like…
“So you’re a sex blogger. That’s real interesting. (Pauses to look me up and down.) Girl, I’m afraid of you. You must have a lot of sex – like anywhere any time, right?”
As much as I’d like to report that I spend most of my nights, and days for that matter, having sex with some über-hot, smart, and virile man, endowed with a super cock, unfortunately this mere mortal has yet to make the ascent to her own personal ‘heaven’. Do I have sex yes. Do I have a lot of sex? *sigh* Sadly not as much as I’d like – which I think is the case for many a female blogger ( Zoe and Max, can I get a witness?).
#2 – We Know Everything There is to Know About Sex
Just the other day while I was at the gym talking to two male personal trainers the blog came up. For one of the dudes, it was the first he was hearing of it. When I explained to him what MetAnotherFrog.com was all about his immediate response was:
“Wow! You could teach me some things, huh?”
Although, I’m sure he was right (the way his eyes bulged as I told him about the blog and nervous giggle that punctuated his question leads me to believe that he ain’t got much experience), it amazed me that this dude (and a host of others like him) immediately assume that I’m some kind of sexpert based on the fact that I write about sex – especially since he’d never been on the site.
Seems that no matter what I'm wearing or doing, the minute I tell a man I blog about sex, he's imagining me in a position like this.
I answered him by stating that working on the blog has made me realize just how little I know about sex. I mean Fringe month was eye-opening for me (I’ve been working on learning more about kink ever since). Personally I think it will take years of reading, question asking and experiencing before I’ll feel qualified enough to say I know even a small fraction of all there is to know about sex.
#3 – We’re All Super Freaks
I make it a habit to tell the men I date that I write this blog and when I do, more often than not they get this look in their eyes that says,
“Hell yeah! She’s a f’in NYMPHO! I’ve hit the mother load!”
Then they usually get real quiet as they start envisioning how well I’ll work the middle if we ever got horizontal. It seems writing about sex not only speaks to a keen interest in the subject, but also a near innate ability to provide potential partners with other-worldly action.
Now although the moniker Super Freak may apply to some of us (ahem), it’s definitely a mistake to expect that any and all sex bloggers you run across will have mad skillz in the bedroom. Just like the rest of the populace we too have our hang ups, fears and inhibitions about sex that we need to overcome . If anything, we’re just more keenly aware of the shortcomings that hold us back from the mindblowin’, bed breakin’ and hip displacin’ (here’s lookin’ at you JFB) action that we all dream of.
Dear readers, what I’m trying to say is we bloggers are regular people – just like you. Trust me folks, we’re not having sex every minute of the day, we don’t all hold PhD’s in sex and sexuality, and few if any of us are courtesans (though some of us wish we were – right Elizabeth?). The only things that makes us different from you are our penchants for: writing; discussing dating and mating (emphasis on the mating) whenever we can; and putting our business out in the street to make you laugh (or cry when appropriate). Lucky for you, huh?