Vintage Frog Lore 12: Pie Eating Tips

Posted by: Elizabeth Rose    Tags:  , , ,     Posted date:  June 20, 2012  |  No comment




ELIZABETH ROSE

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For today’s vintage frog lore, I’m reviving the wonderful advice our guest writer Lez Leigh provided to us in May 2010. I think at the time I had it printed and framed above my headboard to use for guidance notes if required by male guests. Enjoy…

A Guest Post by LEZ LEIGH

Gentleman, when it comes to giving your lady oral pleasure, it’s really all about technique – trust me. I do recognize that it’s not for everyone, but for those of you out there who dig going down, pay attention. I’m about to give you a step-by-step guide on pleasuring your woman with your mouth, lips and tongue…

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Step 1: ALWAYS Perform the “Smell” Test. While kissing your girl, just slip your fingers down there to make sure there is no funk (FYI Ladies: it’s a very small patch of grass to maintain – just a little water and soap is all you need). Bring your fingers back up and discretely take a quick whiff. All clear? Then begin your descent towards her love box. If you decide it needs some Febreeze, just take a rain check or suggest showering together. Remember, be subtle. She won’t want to play at all if you give her any inclination you’ve been put off by her odour.

Step 2: You’re NOT Digging for Gold. We all know the prize is there, but since it is very much worth the wait, leave it to the end and explore a little first. Please note, your woman’s cooch is not like a crackerjack box either – so none of that digging around and shaking shit. Take your time and work your way down SLOWLY, kissing, licking and tasting everything along the way.

"eating pie"

Step 3: Make Use of Your Chin and Fingers. Boys, when performing oral you can gently use your chin as a guide. Softly thrust it forward against her lips and then slowly, move it in a side-to-side motion to clear away the “bush”. (If you’re a bush lover like our man Sam, before you start clearing the bush you can take a few moments to rub your lips against it. Some women, like me, love this – just remember you aren’t trying to erase anything.) Once you get to her inner lips bring your lips down. Now your nose should be buried in the bush (yeah it will tickle, but you’ll either get used to it or forget about it). And get those hands moving. Your fingers don’t have to be idle – they too can help you explore.

Ladies, Please Note: While we’re on the subject of bush I’d like to add that keeping your small patch of grass, whether you’re the full clean up job type or not, well manicured is a must. And if you’re into being different be creative and make your bush a work of art. For inspiration (be careful NSFW) click here.

Step 4: Good Mouth Work is Essential. Here is where we determine if a man is actually worth his salt. Where you place your tongue and lips, your technique and how much pressure you use, is VITAL. Don’t just aim to get your face wet, learn what works. In my experience, real fast licks are fun for about five seconds. If and when it turns into “jabbing” you might find yourself in a headlock between her thighs or be left with the imprint of the heel of her hand on your forehead because she pushed you away.

I suggest using soft circles with your tongue – it works like MAGIC!! Apply pressure as needed (if you’re not sure ask!). Then take her inner lips into your mouth and suck, DON’T bite. When she’s good and warmed up, and only if you know you are highly skilled, you can take her “pearl” between your teeth. And for the love of God DO NOT CLAMP DOWN like you’re chewing a cocktail onion. Instead rub the tip of your tongue back and forth. Finally, and again this depends on the girl (so you should ask), you may want to switch it up and fuck her with your tongue for a bit. Swirling your tongue around her the edge of her cunt a few times, before using it to fill her up, is a sure fire way to get her attention.

Step 5: LOOK, LISTEN and FEEL. I’ve already mentioned the fact that you should ask her for feedback and clarification about what she needs to get off via oral, but I’d like to add that once you’ve asked you need to listen – carefully. If you’re lucky enough to be with a woman who knows what she needs to be turned out, you’re likely to be told about which side/part of her clit is most sensitive; how she likes you to kiss, lick or suck it; and everything else in between. If your partner is unable to give you much info about this, keep your eyes and ears open while you work. Most women will give you a clear indication of what they like or dislike when they’re receiving oral by giving you verbal or non-verbal cues.

For example, if she’s moaning with pleasure or telling you to stay ‘right there’ – don’t you dare change what you’re doing. If she moves your head in toward her or further away from her just take the direction (as long as she’s gentle – ladies don’t go cranking your man’s neck around). After all it’s about her at that moment, not you right?

As for the looking and feeling, if your girl tends to be as quiet as a church mouse in the bedroom it means you’re doing something wrong, you’ll have to rely on non-verbal cues to gain insight into what works. If she’s got her head thrown back and her back is arched, I’d say you’re on the right track. If she’s pulling away from you or trying to close her legs, there’s a pretty good chance what you’re doing isn’t working for her – and in that case just regroup and try again.

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So there you have it folks, my five easy steps to giving great oral to your girl.

Wishing you many nights of happy and pleasure filled pie eating (YUM!)

LL