July 3, 2012
**In case you haven’t already heard our first book, Asses to Asses, Bust to Bust, is now available as an e-book or in print. For further details, including the various ways you can get your hands on a copy or two of your very own, click here.**
Folks! Here we are again, with another edition of The Quickie*. For this, our third edition, our subject is Francis F., one of our fave smut lovin’ peeps. And who exactly is Francis F. you ask? Well…
He’s a Montreal native living in Toronto, whose respectable day job is remote enough to afford him the opportunity to draw cartoons during his long commute. Currently, you can see samples of his (SFW) drawings visit mydailystatus.blogspot.com, and a site that will feature his more naughty comiques – one of which is featured below – is in the works. Now I’ve introduced him, I’m going to go ahead and let him over share in his own words…
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If someone decided to make a film based solely on your sex and dating life, what track would you choose for your theme song?
Herbaliser’s Moon Sequence. Chilled out and innocuous enough for a long film.
What’s the one thing you now know about sex, dating and relationships that you wish someone had told you when you were a kid?
People do stupid things when they haven’t had any (or any good) for a while, and some stupid things hurt feelings.
What’s the weirdest thing that has ever happened to you on a date?
It actually happened after a first date which was preceded by a month of online courtship; it went okay, but I repeatedly expressed befuddlement at how she hadn’t found someone in her (much much cooler than I) circle of friends.
Apparently she was distraught by this. The next day she emailed me telling me about how her roommate comforted her after the date… and how they decided they should be together. We’ve now lost touch, except for her yearly email telling me about all the great sex she’s having with said roommate.
Who holds the number one spot on your freebie five list?
Man: Ewan McGregor (if possible, the Trainspotting version). Woman: I’d get Tristan Taormino to teach me a thing or two.

What’s the first thing on your sexual bucketlist?
Getting my girlfriend laid (with someone else). All in good time.
How do you think the dating and mating scene would change if men had a limited number of ejaculations, say 10 000 over a lifetime, and women had an unlimited supply of healthy, viable eggs well into their 60s?
Freeze that shit up, then go nuts.
What is your least favourite sexual position and why?
Anything can be good with the right person at the right time in the right place. Except something that cuts off circulation, I’m not a fan of that.
What’s the one thing in your “goody drawer” that you absolutely can’t live without?
Condoms. But I do have a goody bookshelf, a goody DVD sleeve and goody kitchen full of pervertables.
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*To read previous editions of The Quickie click here.
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