July 25, 2012
**In case you haven’t already heard our first book, Asses to Asses, Bust to Bust, is now available as an e-book or in print. For further details, including the various ways you can get your hands on a copy or two of your very own, click here.**
Now folks, this edition of The Quickie has been a long time coming. You see, if there’s one person we definitely had to ask to over share in this column it’s our beloved long-comment-leaving-fantastically-feminist tweep Ms. Nikki B, of Women Are From Mars. Take it away, Nikki…
Voyeur or Exhibitionist?
What’s the sexiest pick up line you’ve ever heard? How did you respond?
I can’t think of sexist ones off the top of my head. The weirdest one was “I’m hung like a rhinoceros”. Um, good for you?
What’s the first thing on your sexual bucketlist?
Can you believe I’ve never had a threesome?? And sex parties, let’s talk about that. And those guys that provide gang bang fantasies in your neck of the woods.
When it comes to monogamy, on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “I’m wide open” and 10 being “I’m not just closed, my shit is on lock” where do you fall?
This is a tough one. Normally, I’d say I’m about a four – but only in theory, not yet in practice. Right now, I’m seeing someone, so I’m much higher because we haven’t gotten to the non-monogamy place yet. I think I either need to be without any commitments, or in a place of significant trust. Not there yet because it’s only been a few months.
How do you think the dating and mating scene would change if men had a limited number of ejaculations, say 10 000 over a lifetime, and women had an unlimited supply of healthy, viable eggs well into their 60s?
Heavens to Betsy! Honestly, wouldn’t change a freakin’ thing for us ladies. Narratives around women and dating/relationships/sex are so ingrained in our culture; they are far, far removed from anything truly biological, if you ask me. If dudes had a limited number of jizz? Woah. Would they be more “choosey”? Maybe. Or would it mean they’d freak because they can’t masturbate every day? Perhaps. But then, even having that thought is just about narratives we have about men – and HELL if I thought I had to limit myself on any of those counts, I’d freak too. I think it might allow men to break some of the molds we have for them – they might not feel as much pressure to “bang anything that walks” or prove their masculinity by having a lot of sex.
Is the intersection of sex and technology (i.e. internet dating, social media, smartphones) more of a help or hindrance to the dating scene?
Double-edged sword. On the one hand, I think online dating can aid the dating scene, especially for people who are truly serious about it. On the other, social media makes us SO accessible – and it’s not always in stride with the “dating rules.” Who among us doesn’t get texts and emails immediately – but then feels the pressure to wait to respond? Then, if you don’t get a response – you start wondering if the person is still into you. But if you respond TOO soon, it seems too eager, or you’re not “supposed” to.
Of course, far far more importantly, IMHO anyway, the bigger issue is that social media has made us all so competitive, for retweets and comments and likes, and yet also without the true human connection we all crave from the face-to-face. We’re all SO connected – and also so lonely. The distance that results from being in touch without ever touching, the desire to *seem* desirable online, and how it all makes us feel, is detrimental to all human relationships, if you ask me.
What’s the one thing in your “goody drawer” that you absolutely can’t live without?
I typically make do, but right now my silver bullet is deader than a doornail. I miss it terribly.
What is your least favourite sexual position and why?
I don’t understand this question. *BLINK*
*To read previous editions of The Quickie, click here.