MS. BLUE

When I recently learned about Caitlin Moran’s wildly popular (it’s already a runaway bestseller across the pond), new-ish* book How To Be A Woman – a collection of HILARIOUS memoir infused essays encouraging women to reclaim the word feminism – I got excited. So excited that within hours of hearing her talk the book up on one of my fave podcasts (which you should take the time to listen to, because she is insanely funny!) I went out and purchased a copy. And short of the bigger and better seat I purchased for my rickety old bike a few weeks ago (’cause there is only so much searing butt and crotch pain this woman can take), it’s the best money I’ve spent in a long while. True. Story.

Yep, my new funny feminist (that’s not an oxymoron, go figure!) crush is Ms. Caitlin Moran: an award-winning columnist who currently writes for the London Times. Moran, who is the oldest of eight children, was raised in subsidized housing in Wolverhampton, and grew up as a home-schooled, lonely, misfit, who turned to books for company. One such book was Germaine Greer’s The Female Eunuch, a book that influenced her so much that when she started to pen How To Be A Woman (which was borne in large part out of her alarm at the reluctance of most women – according to a survey she cites in the book only 29% of American women consider themselves to be feminists – to claim feminism as their own) she wanted it to be “Like The Female Eunuch — but with jokes about my knickers!”

As far as I can tell she achieved her goal, because despite the fact that Moran didn’t reinvent the wheel on any of the issues she touched on, How To Be A Woman is one sassy, comical (to point of embarrassing oneself by guffawing rather loudly and garnering weird looks from strangers in suits while waiting in line at Starbucks. Yep…I did it.) and (particularly if you came of age sometime between the late 80s and mid 90s) incredibly relatable book. In it she offers up a very frank, take no prisoners, and in her own words ‘strident feminist’ perspective on: sexuality, masturbation, pornography, strip clubs, the highs and lows of motherhood, marriage, abortion, fat, the portrayal of women in the media, sexism in the workplace – and more. Throughout the book Moran shares her thought-provoking, consciousness-raising views on things like:

The High Cost of Owning a Muff:

“I can’t believe we’ve got to a point where it’s basically costing us money to have a vagina. They’re making us pay for maintenance and upkeep of our lulus, like they’re a communal garden. It’s a stealth tax. Muff excised. This is money we should be spending on THE ELECTRICITY BILL and CHEESE and BERETS . Instead, we’re wasting it on making our Chihuahuas look like a skanky chicken breast…”

Figuring Out if You’re a Feminist:

“…here is the quick way of working out if you’re a feminist. Put your hand in your underpants.

1. Do you have a vagina? And
2. Do you want to be in charge of it?

If you said “yes” to both, then congratulations! You’re a feminist.”