SAM SHARPE

The relationship was still pretty new, pretty fresh; the sexual desire and chemistry associated with this stage of a relationship bore down upon us with gale force. I couldn’t keep my hands off her and there appeared to be a magnetic attraction between her mouth and my c**k. It was magical. Sexual napalm. I wanted to do things to her that were against the laws of nature–if you believe in natural laws and such–and we engaged in the kind of f**cking that could only be categorized as Olympic. We just hadn’t figured out whether or not the relationship had any staying power. We didn’t know if we had couple potential beyond our ability to induce multiple and/or frequent orgasms in each other.

And then I received my answer.

After one particularly vigorous session she fell into slumber like a lamb. You could probably say we were spooning. I wrapped my left arm firmly around her belly. It was a precarious position; in the afterglow of mutual orgasm I wanted to be as close to her as possible yet I didn’t want to wake her up. Anyway, as I lay there counting sheep I felt a heavy rumbling in her midsection and then heard a deep and sonorous noise expel itself from her nether-lands. I swear this sound was accompanied by a stiff wind against my once stiff member. It reverberated on my crotch, in the bed and seemingly in the room. Her whole body shook. “It” jerked her awake.

We lay motionless for a few moments until my laughter pierced the silence. I knew she was awake, I’m sure she knew I knew she was awake but she said nothing. She continued saying nothing and so did I. All the way into a relationship. Hey, if a girl can flat out fart on your sh** and all you do is laugh that’s got to be a good sign right?