March 6, 2014
With another post, no less. But just in case you missed it, I want to remind you all that you can find the latest episode of the Sex With the Lights On Podcast, featuring our main man Jon Pressick, here, or even here. Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, here’s today’s post…
During the course of my workday, I often get caught up in conversations with folks from all walks of life. Generally this means that I am occasionally exposed to viewpoints that remind me that not everyone in the world lives in the same the ‘pinko commie’ sex positive bubble I inhabit. But every once in a while I run up on someone, just dying to indoctrinate me with their crazy share their thoughts – that I’ll politely describe here as vastly different from mine – on some hot button issues of the day. I stumbled into two such conversations, both of which included healthy doses of slut shaming as the individuals in question shared the views on promiscuity – indirectly or otherwise – just last week. Allow me to elaborate…
By now you’ve guessed that we here at MetAnotherFrog.com are pretty open about sex. We have a propensity for over sharing online and in our day-to-day lives, just cause. So, when one of my newer colleagues, who I’ve become quite friendly with over the last few months, asked me how my weekend went as we left work together a few days ago, I thought nothing of telling her about a recent play date I had. Her response?
“Wait? A different guy?!?! How many is that for the year?”
Wow! Slut shame much? “Why? Are you counting…Mom?”
Looks at me sheepishly and sighs. “Sorry, shouldn’t have asked you that.”
Now if you live anywhere in Canada, you know that Olympic Hockey gold was the only thing anyone was talking about two weekends ago. So, though I’m no hockey – much less a sports fan – two weekends ago, Sochi, the Olympics and Hockey was all anyone was talking about. Of course, there is only so much I can take of talking about any one thing I’m a not really interested, so when all the sports talk got to be too much, I deflected by saying something like…
“But isn’t it great that we got through the Olympics without any international drama inducing events like a terrorist attack or any serious attacks against queer folk being reported?”
Not at all smooth I know, but it did always shift the conversation away from the ‘hot hockey action’ – sadly, not always for the better. You see, after slipped my handy dandy I-can’t-discuss-hockey-for-even-one-more-minute deflection tool into my conversation with a very ‘proper lady’ I was dealing with to stop her from going on and on and on about the hockey, she dropped a bomb on me so large that I was struck speechless.
A quick aside: Before I continue, I feel compelled to tell you that the proper lady in question usually spends most of her time with me waxing poetic – in the most reasonable and centre-left of ways, I might add – about current events from all over the world (particularly Europe where she is from). So, what I about to share with you is uncharacteristic for her, at least in her conversations with me. Now, back to the story…
She readily agreed that it was indeed great that there were attacks of either variety at the games, and then after a few moments of silence she added this:
“I really do think that everyone should live and let live, but I sometimes think homosexuals are their own worst enemy. I passed by a poster this morning on my way to work that was advertising nude yoga, which based on the image pictured was obviously targeting gay men. Why would anyone need to do that? It’s obviously more about sex than yoga, which would be fine I guess if it weren’t for the fact that their promiscuity is responsible for the spread of AIDS in their community.
Kapow!! That was the sound of my brain exploding from complete and utter shock. Had I magically been transported in time back to the late 80’s, when virtually everyone knew nothing about HIV? How could I even begin to unpack all that mess with only 10 minutes left in her appointment? I mean, in addition to the fact that I (rather naively) didn’t expect that kind of commentary from someone as clear thinking as she has shown herself to be in the years I have known her, the statement was so loaded with:
- All kinds of decidely un-sex positive respectability politics around sex and sexuality (there goes that slut shaming)
- A clear lack of understanding about HIV/AIDS and how it is spread, cause lord knows one unprotected good (or even bad) time is all you need to get HIV if you don’t/can’t protect yourself regardless – gay or straight.
To her credit, after noting my cemetery silence on the matter she quickly switched to a much lighter topic.
Moral of the story?
When in doubt keep your hang-ups about sex and those who indulge promiscuously to your damn self.