For Auld Lang Syne and all that…

It seems a long time since New Years, but it has been even longer since we all delved into the archives of MetAnotherFrog. So the three of us will be cranking out our favourites for the year gone by this week.

Yes, I want it all. And till I'm thesaurus too.

From our many fabulous guests it was tough to choose a single post, as we have been really lucky in the great contributions department. But for my taste the piece Fuck Me Till I’m Thesaurus, by Something She Dated, is a grand place to start any ‘look back’ post with.

I always enjoy learning a little bit more about my peeps here, so Sam’s confessions in March were worth highlighting.

Skye was on a rant in May with her points on post wedding weight gains. (Nothing happy about that happiness weight!) I enjoy a good rant and it was a nice break after all the chat about Pippa Middleton’s rear.

Finally a moment of self indulgence and a particular piece I entertained myself with, when in June I offered up the true answers to those questions you shouldn’t really ask on a date anyway…

Enjoy!

Happy 2012!

The news here in UK is full of rising costs of commuting (20% increase on tickets for London commuters) and “tough times ahead.” But there is also a more positive outlook for 2012 as this year my home town will play host to the Olympics too. As I set myself the task of resolutions, I’ve decided to take several recent and upcoming events into account.

Will be making good use of this sign from now til the Olympics this summer.

Firstly – I will be more Olympian in my sex life. Despite my current injury and the obvious setback it caused. I intend to train hard in the run up to the Olympics, and attempt to theme as many positions and naked interactions on events as I can.  I already have equestrian sorted out, aquatic is pretty obvious, but does anyone have any ideas for a sexual decathlon?

Secondly – Commute less. Since costs are rising, I will reduce my travel by the necessary 20% to remain cost neutral. In my thoughts this means encouraging booty calls to come to me, and to increase my hosting duties for one night stands, pick ups and orgies. Thereby not requiring any re-budgeting for necessaries such as lube, batteries and condoms.

Finally, I intend to reduce my cynicism. This one will be tough, but is certainly needed. I have been spending a lot more one-on-one time with a certain handyman who has been helping me out while I’m less than intact. He is good company both naked and dressed, and during several of our non-sexual exchanges I have found him challenging me on my viewpoint on several subjects and natural tendency to dismiss compliments or “feelings” out of hand.

Under normal circumstances I would have blocked his cell number and moved on by now; but my initial need for his support has become more of a wish for, so as a gesture I’m attempting a cynicism detox. Accepting statements at face value, and worryingly agreeing to some sort of mushy stuff by way of public displays of affection and even non-sexual encounters such as date night.

If I can keep these resolutions for more than a week – 2012 is going to be a big year!

Here’s hoping your holiday celebrations (particularly those of the horizontal kind) were nothing short of sublime and that you’re now all looking forward to even more and exponentially better bedroom action a great 2012 (at least up until the world ends on Dec 21, right? *shuddering*): one that with any luck will include more time spent with all of us here at MetAnotherFrog.com (I mean, let’s be honest here folks, what could possibly be better than that?).

Now that the New Year has finally rolled in, and all the boozin’, partyin’ and mayhem is not so long behind we’re ready and rearing to get right back at it. Well, Sam and I are. Elizabeth Rose our sex maverick is still working on recovering from her ‘war wound’ (more on that later). Over the next few weeks we’ll be offering up: 1) our own (likely very naughty) resolutions; 2) running through our best of 2011 lists; and 3) announcing the lucky winners of the We-Vibe 3’s we’re giving away in our contest (if you have yet to start on your entry you’d better get a move on. The contest closes on Jan. 13). Also, a few of our fave tweeps will be dropping by to share their thoughts on some…

Things that make us go hmmmm…

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All in all it will be a month you don’t want to miss. So, make sure you’re right back here tomorrow when the fun starts.

Till Tomorrow,

Ms. Blue

So, it’s Christmas day and the three of us are busy getting ready to indulge of all the joy of the season with our near and dear ones over the next couple of days. Unfortunately that means we won’t be around to whip up a brand spanking new post for a bit.

But don’t fret!

We would never leave you, our online near and dear ones, without anything to read. (How rude would that be during the season of giving?) So, while we’re away, check out…

* How you can win a FREE We-Vibe 3.

* Our most popular posts for the month: here, here and here.

*Me and Sam shootin’ the sh*t in our latest podcast.

* The video for one of my fave new songs that has absolutely nothing to do with the holidays, but should make you smile nonetheless.

Okay. I’m off to get my fill of food, folks and fun for the holidays. Until next we meet (FYI: we’ll be back with a brand, spanking new post for you on Tuesday night) on behalf of the Met Another Frog team I’d like to wish you all very happy, peaceful and delightfully naughty holidays.

See you on the other side,

SB

“A friend in need is a friend indeed.” – Old school proverb

Some of you dear readers may have been wondering where I have been lately, while others – dare I say most of you – likely haven’t even noticed my recent absence from our prose based relationship. And if you fall into the latter camp I have three words for you:

Shame on you!

But for the benefit of those of you who actually care I have an explanation for being M.I.A.

I am on a sabbatical that came about due to a rather unexpected event: one which leaves me in some difficulty to ably communicate with all of you. Frankly, it’s a tad on the embarrassing side. But since I am here at Met Another Frog and therefore among friends, who like to over-share, I may as well tell you.

You see, like any good slut, I live alone. Not in the cat lady sense of alone, but more in an “I enjoy walking around naked” sort of way. As one would expect I like to be joined by random men in my nudity, which of course would make house mates somewhat tense. A previous house sharing adventure ended quickly after her mother came to visit and entered the kitchen just as one of my visitors was cumming. Terribly upsetting for the poor chap as he was fulfilling a fantasy to take me up against the kitchen sink, while wearing nothing but an apron and a pair of marigolds. I don’t think his fantasy included a sweet old dear in a cardigan shrieking from the doorway and then passing out. It was a bit of an overreaction on her part. I expect my mother would have seen the funny side (since it was the gentleman who was in the apron and marigolds, not I).

Anyway, I digress, which is much easier than usual as I am actually dictating this missive. You see I have hurt myself, not fatally, but badly enough to prevent me typing much for the next couple of months while I heal. In my professional life – and you may be surprised that I have one which doesn’t involve street corners, lingerie as a uniform or “bunga-bunga” style parties – I have not told the truth about my injury. I believe I lied and told folks I fell.

I didn’t, I was in fact checking the installation of my latest gadget / toy. An add on to the love swing that I keep in my spare room.

My love swing is A.W.E.S.O.M.E. It has inspired me to start saving for a commercial flight to space so I can experience zero-G sex. But my British inventor streak span out of control a little bit…

I may have watched a few too many theatrical pornos.

I may have spent a long and virtually sleepless night flipping through the pictures in the Karma Sutra…again.

Because, one morning I awoke with an ingenious plan.

I Elizabeth Rose was going to design and create a…

Cock Spinner.

What exactly is a cock spinner you ask? Dear readers, imagine this…

As I dangle from my swing, impaled by my partner’s penis (keeping arms and legs inside the vehicle of course), while as he lays on his back on what can only be described as a giant pottery wheel. Now, here’s the trick. While I gently bounce up and down, he slowly spins beneath me, giving an almost “Rabbit” effect with a real live penis. Admit it – you are both intrigued and amazed by my sexual brilliance.

Anyway, I decided to invest in my gadgetry. After it was installed, I conducted some component testing and then had my first “live” run with a rather burly rugby chap. He had a good sized bit of equipment which I thought would be perfect to anchor myself on as we both got acclimatized to the spin and bounce action. Also he was an engineer, and I was desperate to show off my design to someone who would appreciate it on all levels.

After some time spent marvelling at the creativity and ingenuity behind my invention, we spent even more time marvelling at its capabilities as a great sex aid. He was spinning himself around by walking his feet on the floor as the motor wasn’t quite powerful enough to shift his bulk (a small and completely fixable technical glitch!). I was merrily dangling ass first in blissful penetration when we both started to climax. It was a good powerful crescendo which resulted in my partner-in-the-sublime reaching up and grabbing my arm.

It’s an understandable reaction. I don’t blame him for waiting to touch me – I think it was actually my breast he was going for. But as he took hold with an orgasmic rigour, I got tangled in my swing, he kept spinning around, and something went pop. My arm was suddenly white hot with pain that I could neither articulate, nor free myself from. The rest is somewhat cloudy, but I believe the chap was kind enough to lift me off his cock, cut me out of the swing straps, clothe me, wrap me in a dressing gown and drive me to a local A&E (the emergency room). He did leave me there to explain it myself, but who can blame him.

So turns out, I dislocated my shoulder and fractured some additional bones in the process. I had to talk to a social worker about domestic abuse since the bruise came up in the shape of a hand print quite swiftly. (At that point I was very pleased that my engineering Casanova had already exited stage left).

Quite the sex injury and story, to say the least. I have told most folks in my life that I fell on the ice outside a tube station, so only you know the truth. Well you all, the penis owner who caused it, and the handy man that came to help me dismantle my swing and wheel contraption before a family visit over Christmas. (He’s a very handy man – in all the best possible ways. He’s volunteered to try out the next model of my gadget as well as assist in some “pain relief” during my convalescence. Actually he’s even typing this up for me, so I probably should say more lovely things about him, but I wouldn’t want him to get too big for his boots.)

There you are my friends. I was at the cutting edge of sexual experimentation, and I took a bit of an injury for it. I’ll be back on occasion in the months while I heal, but rest assured I am in good hands.

Happy Holidays everyone!

It’s the start of a new month, which means…

It’s time for a shiny, brand, spanking new topic.

Yep, we’re going to give it a rest on all that Family Values ish and shake things up with a much lighter, and with any luck racier theme. But before I get to all that, a story for you…

–

Those of you who know me would likely never describe me as the shy, nervous type. But there times when I am exactly that. My timid alter ego, Shy Skye, shows up without fail whenever someone asks me to do any form of public speaking (anyone who was at the Erotica Meetup I broke my open mic cheery at last night can attest to that), and she also usually drops in when I’m around some dude I like. I say usually with respect to men I’m crushing on because there have been a few very rare occasions when, due to the sheer fabulousness of the man in question, Shy Skye has been swept right out of the room by my hyper-extroverted self, Ms. Bold Blue. And lately, due to my having met a man whose wit and charm is of the super extra fly charts, Ms. Bold Blue has been in a word…relentless.

Within the first few minutes of falling into conversation with Big Red when I met him a few weeks ago I was shook. I remember thinking ‘Damn! You’re digging on this dude” and then questioning myself as to why exactly that was as he and I continued to chat. You see, as much as I’ve been known to have a thing for redheads, I can’t say that Big Red is what I would generally go for – at least not physically. Consequently, it took me a while to figure out that in less than five minutes flat the man had got me hooked on his mind.

Now before I go on, for the benefit of those of you who’ve never met Ms. Bold Blue (and unless you’re one of the few men she’s rolled up on you definitely haven’t) I need to fill you in on her personality. My high octane extrovert self is a:

1. Go getter. She goes after what she wants the moment she sees it, no questions asked. The bitch is straight up impulsive.
2. Lover of hot, sexy and confident men. But if you dig just a little bit beneath the surface you’ll find that she’s also a sapiosexual of the highest order.
3. Sweet talker. When Ms. Bold Blue enters the room she is hands down the most charismatic and flirtatious woman there. Period.
4. A woman who puts a very big capital P in the word Persistence. No matter what Shy or regular ol’ Skye might be chirping in her ear, she isn’t likely to back down on her quest to get what she wants unless she hits a real road block (i.e. a completely unresponsive and/or obviously happily attached man. Please note I never said she played fair).

So when my brain finally registered that Big Red was someone I wanted to get next too, Ms. Bold Blue said, in no uncertain terms

“Stand the fuck down heifer, I got this!”

and then kicked into overdrive.

Before I knew it my hand was on Big Red’s arm telling him that I was into him (don’t ask me exactly what I said, Ms. Bold Blue was operating my brain at the time, so how the fuck do I know!) and asking him if he was single. Big Red’s answer? I’m going to leave you guys guessing on that one, but what I will say is this if Ms. Bold “Go on with your bad self” Blue has it her way my very naughty Noel will include some quality alone time with Big Red.

And speaking of naughty Noel, let me get back to telling you all about our theme for December. In honour of those of you out there who really understand that being naughty is oh so nice, our not so succinct theme this month is…

All I Want for X-mas (Hannukah, Kwannza or Whatever it is You’re Celebrating this Holiday Season) is S-E-X.

And with that in mind we are going to be posting some of the sexiest, hottest, and funniest erotica we and a bevy of guest posters have penned just in time for the holidays. So, if you’re looking to stay warm by generating a little heat in all the right places as the temperature outside cools down, be sure to come back often to catch up on the hot holiday reading we’ll have on offer. And it all starts tomorrow, with the announcement of a truly awesome holiday contest.

Till Tomorrow,

SB

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. … The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past… we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our Attitudes.  -  Charles R. Swindoll

While I rarely quote the clergy, I agree with what Charlie boy stated above; that our attitude has a huge impact on how we experience life – our sex life especially. If our attitude is positive towards sex, chances are we will experiment and enjoy our experiences as a young adult. If our attitude is more negative our sexual experiences will likely be limited in our young adulthood or leave us racked with guilt and self-loathing.

But where do our respective attitudes come from?

Partly from our family, but we all know the slutty clergy man’s daughter or the frigid offspring of an aged hippy. As children become teenagers they are influenced by many people and factors. While some people believe that family has the largest influence on young adults, others – like me –  feel that friends have more influence on young adults. In fact, I propose that the attitude we have towards our own sexuality is most strongly influenced by that of our peers during our early teens…

First, while most young children spend the bulk of their time (excluding the hours they spend at school) with their family, which means their family exerts the greatest amount of influence on them, young adults spend the majority of their free time with their friends. Whether fighting against parental control or just trying to make friends, teenagers spend a great deal of time interacting with their peers as they develop their own sense of morals and values.

Second, peer pressure can be one of the strongest influences that teenagers face. Most new experiences that young adults have are the end result of peer pressure. What one teenager thinks is “cool” is forced on to others in order to fit in. (Admittedly, many parents may also encourage their children to conform, but it is usually for an entirely different reason: not wanting their children to embarrass them in any way. Sadly, peer pressure often continues to be a major influence, even into adult life.)

In short, while family influences children the most, as children grow up and become young adults their strongest influences are their friends. Teenagers spend the majority of their time with their peers, rather than family, so it is only natural that they exert more influence on them.

Peer pressure also causes most teenagers to do things to try and fit in with their peers, an influence that is usually much stronger than family. The fact that this influence is so strong at a time when they are undergoing puberty, developing curiosity towards sex and defining their own sexual identity ensures that it plays a huge role in shaping their attitudes towards sex. Their friends  during their young adulthood will likely shape their attitudes in ways that will likely change their experiences in (or out) of the bedroom (or dungeon) well into their adult lives.

So parents, my advice is to use peer pressure to your advantage. As you set about providing a sex positive example for your own children, pass it on to their friends as well. By doing so you’ll greatly increase the odds that one of your progeny’s BFFs – who will probably have the greatest impact on their attitudes towards sex – will one day ‘teach’ your kid(s) something they worked hard to ignore when it came out of the mouth of one of their old and (obviously) very out of touch parents.

Try everything once, except incest and folk dancing. – Modern day folklore

Keeping it in the family… It’s pretty gross, but there have been more than a few incidences where this has occurred unbeknownst; most recently is a young South African couple.

A young pregnant woman in South Africa was horrified to learn that the father of her baby is her own brother. The engaged couple has been dating for nearly five years and is

Luke and Leia also unwittingly kept it in the family.

expecting their first child next month. The news reports that it was “love at first sight” when the siblings met at university. The country’s Sowetan newspaper reported that the siblings had been raised separately after their mother and father went through an acrimonious divorce. It reported: ‘Their parents separated when the woman was eight months old and the man was two years old. ‘The man’s father said he dumped his wife in 1983 because she was cheating on him. The girl was raised by her mother, while her brother was raised by his father. ‘Neither of them knew they had a sibling.’

The young lass is reportedly devastated, and has said that she doesn’t know how she will tell their child. The sister and brother did not recognize each other because they were raised 50 miles apart by their mother and father, respectively. Although their case is rare, the South African siblings are not the only ones concerned with accidental incest.

In Iceland, a phone app attempts to circumvent such problems, which are apparently somewhat common in the 300,000-person country. ‘The Book Of Icelanders’ allows potential lovers to compare their genealogies: “To avoid incest, all one has to do is put in their name, their prospective girlfriend’s or boyfriend’s name and the database will spit out exactly how related they are to each other.” It sounds a bit mental – but with such a small population you have to give them credit for coming up with a technologically sound solution!

This does all sound a little National Enquirer, ‘Lost sibling impregnates sister – “I didn’t know” he mourns.’ However, there is always something worse in the news these days; and unsurprisingly it’s in the UK press. Earlier this year a British brother and sister knowingly committed incest and were sentenced under this country’s Criminal Act as they were caught on CCTV – since it was in the lift at a railway station. Lots of parts of this story make me go “ick”. The fact it was in a lift at a railway station is the mildest layer of disgust.