THE ULTIMATE GUIDE OF RELATIONSHIP AND DATING ADVICE FOR WOMEN

At least once in the lifetime, we all struggled with a difficult relationship. We had to pass over heartbreaks and disappointments, leaving the man we loved without having completely understood what had gone wrong.

Sometimes it is even harder to understand why we ended up with a break up instead of a happy ending. What I have discovered over the years (and many failed relationships), is that much of this is due to a lack of understanding by both parties of the dynamics of a relationship.

It took me many years to figure this out, but to help other women who are struggling (like I used to) I have decided to put together everything I have learned (mostly through trial and error) so that hopefully other women will find their life partner so that they can experience true happiness in their relationships a lot quicker than I did.

I have divided this post into 4 main categories making it easier to navigate to the topic that is relevant for you.

Whether you are unable to find the right partner, face relationship difficulties, deal with a breakup or you just feel that your partner has lost his sexual interest in you, you should be able to find these topics covered below.

DATING & FINDING A PARTNER

This category was created mainly for all the single ladies who feel that finding the right partner is impossible. If you are part of those women who always seem to end up with the wrong man regardless of their strategies, then this section is for you.

Most of these articles are focused on strategies to understand men and finding a potentially right partner, tips to keep a man interested in you and how to avoid wasting energy and feelings on the wrong guys.

Here are some of the main topics discussed in this category.

A. UNDERSTANDING WHAT MEN REALLY WANT

The first step to take in finding the right man is understanding what men really look for in a partner. Sonya wrote a couple of articles on this subjects, including a review of a program that should give you an insight into the men’s twisted minds.

Read more www.heraspiration.com

THIS YEAR’S BEST RELATIONSHIP ADVICE WILL KEEP YOUR LOVE LIFE HAPPY INTO 2019 AND BEYOND

No matter your relationship status, romantic goals, or feelings about dating in general, fact remains that 2018 offered a lot of information to consider about that good, old battlefield of love. During the summer, for instance, many of our celebrity friends made the case for just doing the damn thing. And when the sprint to matrimony didn’t pan out for some, they taught us to find the empowering silver lining.

Aside from star-powered relationship advice, expert-backed tips to increase happiness and health also came to light this year. Of the bunch, my personal favorites include the health reasons to never hold in your poop around your significant other (let nature take it’s course, people!); some real talk about what to do if you just can’t sleep around your snoring special someone (because, seriously, I’ve wondered how many divorces citing irreconcilable differences are just thinly veiling a deviated septum issue); and sex-free ways to build intimacy with your partner (because who’s always in the mood?). But those are just three of a whole corpus of stellar dating and relationship tips from 2018. Rounded up below are the takeaways that stuck with Well+Good staffers that you can bring into 2019 and beyond.

Don’t expect perfection

“It was a big year for me and my boyfriend: We moved into our first apartment together and learned a lot about each other. Nothing ended up being a deal-breaker (phew!) but the shakeup that comes with sharing so much more space and time did sometimes prove challenging. So when I stumbled upon Kristen Bell’s six love tips, I appreciated how relatable and helpful they were—especially number four: Love everything about them, including faults. This resonated with me in so many ways—even when it comes to lighthearted faults (like leaving the sink running way longer than he needs to while brushing his teeth)!”—Celine Cortes, audience development associate

Hello, hygge sex

“This year I learned about karezza, which is pretty much sex that focuses more on the pleasures of sex and not the orgasm. I’ve been preaching this gospel for years—I just didn’t have the word for it! Karezza is about building intimacy by experiencing the sensations of sex instead of racing toward an orgasm. That’s a 2019 resolution if I ever heard one.” —Maria Del Russo, contributor

Read full article on www.wellandgood.com

50 Relationship Tips That Are Actually Terrible Advice

Relationships can be hard, and when we find ourselves at odds with our partners, we often seek out the advice of friends and family. But not all of their warnings and so-called “wise words” should be heeded. Even some of the most frequently mentioned recommendations could potentially do more harm than good. To help you determine what to take to heart and what to toss out of your mind, these are the bad dating and marriage tips relationship pros say to avoid.

1
“Your perfect match it out there.”

There is no such thing as a perfect person or a perfect partner. “Every single person you will meet is going to have flaws,” points out James Anderson, dating expert at Beyond Ages. “If you accept this fact, you may find that one of the people who you thought was ‘not so perfect’ is actually pretty great for you.”

2
“Play hard to get.”

Most of the time, playing hard to get just guarantees that both of you are going to end up alone. “The dating world is competitive and few people have the time to constantly pursue someone who is not demonstrating any interest,” says Anderson. “Stop playing these silly games and show a little interest back. You will be giving yourself many more opportunities with people you otherwise might have missed out on.”

3
“Let them make the first move.”

Waiting for someone else to make the first move will often leave you just, well, waiting. “It is incredible how many times both people wait for the other to make the first move or demonstrate interest first,” Anderson says. “It can take a little courage to make the first move, but you will be shocked by how this will improve your dating life regardless of your gender. Fortune favors the bold in love more than any other endeavor.”

4
“If they can’t handle you at your worst, they don’t deserve you at your best.”

“This is the motto of every person you have ever met that draws drama to them like a magnet, but can’t for the life of them figure out why,” Anderson says. “Instead of trying to rationalize your bad behavior, spend that time actually improving yourself and your life to the point where your worst is worth dealing with.”

Source: bestlifeonline.com

The 14 Best Moments in Every Relationship

1. The first time you hang out one-on-one (and yes, Netflixing counts). Nothing is more exciting than letting out all your pent-up crush energy on a first date. It’s almost as big a deal as your potential wedding day in terms of stories you’ll have to tell over and over. PRO TIP: Don’t bring up potential weddings on the first date.

2. That first awkward, nervous pause right before your first kiss. Your first kiss says, “I like hanging out with you, but I also want to make out with you all the time. Let’s take this to the next level.”

3. The first time you bone. Well, hopefully your first time was a great moment. And if not, you’re a very selfless person for sticking with them.

4. The first time you stay the night instead of abruptly peacing-out like Cinderella the second it hits 2 a.m. Especially if you usually run off into the night immediately after coitus. Well, maybe hobble into the night while trying to put on your pants is a more apt description. My point is, your first sleepover is a big deal.

5. When you did nothing in bed together and it was amazing. The first time you do this, it’s cute and romantic. The 90th time you do this, you’re codependent agoraphobics. But when you can literally spend all day sharing a tiny square together and doing nothing else, you’ve got something good going.

6. The moment you realize their family could also be your family (and you’re OK with that). Some people have stupid families. So it’s a relief when you meet your partner’s and you actually feel at home. Getting along with their family instead of feeling awkward and intimidated is great.

7. When picking your partner up at the airport felt like the best moment in the world. Spending time apart (however long) is rough, but getting to see each other again makes it all worth it. All right, maybe it would’ve been better to not be apart in the first place.

8. Buying a second toothbrush to keep at their house. You’re basically saying, “I’m coming over whenever I want so you can never cheat on me.” But also, you know, that you love spending time together.

9. When you had an insane fight, but you knew you never wanted to break up. At first glance, this might not seem like this should be labeled a “best moment.” But it’s fights like these that make you realize you really want to try to make this relationship work. Also, yo, makeup sex.

10. When you accidentally blurted out “I love you” and waited to hear them say it back. In the history of mankind, no two people have ever said “I love you” and then not fumbled through a conversation afterward. Your first declaration of love is always followed by an “I mean…” while you stare at your partner and hope they say it back before you punch out the nearest window and cut your jugular with a shard of glass.

Read more www.cosmopolitan.com

Dating vs. Relationships: The Real Difference

Dating vs. Relationships
The main difference between dating and being in a relationship is that people in a relationship are connected by a mutual commitment to each other. You and the person you’re with have agreed, either officially or unofficially, that you’re seeing each other exclusively and are in a partnership together.

However, most of the time it’s not so back and white. Sometimes that area between just dating and being in a committed relationship can get a little grey. That’s why we came up with a list of signs that your casual fling has taken a turn into relationship territory:

You’re not really looking around anymore
If you’re dating around, but someone special has pulled ahead of the pack, to the point where you’ve let the others fall off, you’ve stepped into relationship territory. Alternatively, if you’re still on your dating site of choice and you’re not compelled to message anyone new, or even log in, you’ve been bitten, and maybe it’s time to think of your romance in relationship terms.

They’re your go-to person when you make plans
When you read about something fun going on, or the movie you’re dying to see comes out, is this person your no-brainer first call? If you’re invited to an office party, is the first thing you consider whether or not you get to bring a plus one? Do you check and see if this person is free before you commit to other plans? If the answer to any of these is yes, then it’s a sign that you’re beginning to picture a life in which they’re a mainstay.

You do nothing together
A common sign that your fling is getting relationshippy is when your plans don’t necessarily involve any, you know, plans. If your sweetheart is content sitting on the couch and watching Saturday afternoon movies while you fold laundry, some walls have come down, and you’re clearly comfortable involving your person in the less glamorous aspects of your everyday life.

Read full article on www.zoosk.com

9 Signs He’s Not a Cheater

Being cheated on is the worst. You feel rejected but also pissed. You don’t know who you can trust. Well, scientific studies have narrowed down some traits that are statistically more common in guys who cheat, so here are some signs (not confirmation, obviously) that your guy will never stray.

1. You bring home the same amount of money. recent study from the American Sociological review showed that partners were less likely to cheat if they were in the same (or similar) income brackets. Men were more likely to cheat if they made a lot more money than their partner, and they were most likely to cheat if they made a lot less. So if you two have similar paychecks, you’ve got statistics on your side.

2. He’s from the Midwest. According to this poll, Midwesterners are just too well-mannered to cheat on their partners.

3. His friends are also faithful. People are more likely to cheat if their friends are also cheaters, according to M. Gary Newman, author of The Truth About Cheating. If his friends are trustworthy, it’s likely he’s trustworthy too.

4. He feels loved and trusted. According to a study conducted by Newman, most men don’t cheat because they’re not satisfied sexually. They cheat because they’re seeking emotional satisfaction.

5. He’s an extrovert. Extroverts are less likely to go along with the influence of others. Research shows that introverts are actually more likely to cheat because they’re more likely to agree to someone propositioning them. So even if he’s always out there meeting new people, you actually might be safer.

Source: www.cosmopolitan.com

What Relationship Experts Know About Dating That You Don’t

1. The Worst People Get the Most Dates
Frustrating but true: The more narcissistic a person is, the more beguiling they seem when you first meet them. The discovery came out of a recent study in the European Journal of Personality where researchers had subjects take personality tests before they went on speed dates with other participants. Men and women who displayed more narcissistic characteristics were rated as more desirable for both short- and long-term relationships by their fellow speed daters. (Keep in mind that the researchers weren’t measuring clinical narcissistic personality disorder, but if you meet someone with that, even more reason to run very far away.)

We wondered how it could possibly be that subjects failed to spot a self-centered person when they were literally sitting right in front of them, but lead study author Emanuel Jauk, PhD, professor of psychology at the University of Graz, in Austria, has an explanation. “The positive aspects of narcissism, like charm, self-confidence and assertiveness, seem to dominate the first impression,” says Jauk. “The rather undesirable aspects, like self-absorbedness, arrogance and entitlement, are harder to recognize at first.” Jauk says narcissists may even try to charm people they’re not actually interested in because they crave admiration from everyone, not just the people they like. (If you’ve got a narcissist in your life, romantic or not, we’ve got advice on how to deal with them here.)

2. An Attractive Stranger’s Jokes Can Reveal Their Intentions
If you’re looking for love and the person you’re chatting with is using the old flirtatious-teasing approach (think self-deprecating jokes or using other people, like, well, you, as the punch line), you’re probably not after the same thing. Both men and women tend to use this type of negative humor when they’re interested in something short-term, found forthcoming research led by Theresa DiDonato, PhD, an associate professor of psychology at Loyola University Maryland. There’s a catch though: Subjects were more likely to use positive jokes, like pointing out the awkwardness of hitting on someone at the bar, when they were pursuing short- and long-term relationships. So while a warmer sense of humor is no guarantee that you’re on the same page, a string of darker jokes is a warning sign that you’re definitely not.

Read more www.oprah.com

The Best Relationship Advice, According to Experts

Relationship advice is a tricky thing. When it’s unsolicited, it can be annoying and sometimes even insulting (hey, we all have that friend). But when you actually seek it out, it can be hard to find what you’re really looking for—like a definitive answer on whether or not yours is healthy, and what’s truly important.

Sure, there’s your go-to advice like “don’t go to bed angry,” and “respect is important,” but we’ve all heard those before. That’s why we consulted expert therapists for the best tips they most regularly share with their patients.

Schedule dates to talk about your relationship.

“Commit to investing an hour—on an ongoing basis—to work on strengthening your relationship, troubleshooting, and making it more satisfying,” says Manhattan-based licensed clinical psychologist Joseph Cilona, Psy.D. Set up a weekly or monthly dinner where you only talk about relationship issues or goals.

Be candid about your feelings—the good and the bad.

Regularly opening up can help bring you closer, says psychotherapist Beth Sonnenberg, L.C.S.W. “Once you think that your feelings don’t matter, won’t be heard, or are not worth sharing, you open the door to harbor negativity and resentment.” That includes positive feelings, too, she points out—especially when they’re connected with your partner. “People need to feel appreciated in any relationship,” she adds.

Read full article on www.oprahmag.com

10 Things You Should Know Before Dating a Funny Guy

1. We’re guaranteed to make your day better, like a human version of pizza. Had a crappy day at work? Get in a fight with your best friend? You know that if you call us up to hang out, we’ll get you laughing.

2. Funny guys are like garlic: bland stuff suddenly gets way better. We’ll make even boring stuff awesome. Do you have to go help your brother move out of his dorm? Bring us along. Awkward family wedding? Check and see if you get a plus-one.

3. We hate being called “funny guys.” On a personal note, I hate writing this and even self-identifying as being funny. If people introduce us as funny or ask us to tell a joke on the spot, we’ll retreat into our (probably) metaphorical shells.

4. Yes, we will make jokes during serious talks. Bear with us and don’t get mad. Sometimes we can’t resist making a so-bad-it’s-really-bad-and-almost-good pun or throwing out an actually good one-liner. These moments might come during a serious talk about where our relationship is headed. Brace yourself.

5. But that doesn’t mean we can’t be serious. Half the time we’re making jokes, we’re still taking things seriously. But we’re not about to start screaming, “HEY, GANG! WHAT’S THE DEAL WITH DEATH, HUH? WHERE DO WE GO WHEN WE DIE? WHAT’S THE BIG IDEA?” at your great aunt’s funeral like some terrible stand-up. We are not insane. We still understand societal norms.

Source: www.cosmopolitan.com

10 Dating Do’s and Don’ts From 6 Therapists

Looking for a tip or two on how to tackle the dating scene? Then you’ve probably noticed the onslaught of search engine results when you Google the phrase “dating dos and don’ts.” Yikes! Over 300 million results bombard the computer screen. It seems everyone’s an expert on relationships and human behavior, or are they? Here, the advice IS coming from actual experts and in this case, six bona fide therapists!

Dating Dos Don’ts From 6 Therapists

Tips from Dr. Jamie Long, Psy.D.

1. DON’T convince yourself you only have one “type.”

DO widen your definition of a compatible mate. Open yourself to the possibility that you can fall in love with someone who doesn’t perfectly meet the criteria that you believe is your ideal or particular “type.”

2. DON’T be overly critical or judgmental.

DO approach others with curiosity, kindness, and compassion. Premature dismissals of someone are a one-way ticket to overlooking a potentially great love match.

3. DON’T come on too strong! Watch yourself for behaviors that could be constured as needy, desperate, unstable, or otherwise undesirable.

DO respect the natural progression of intimacy. Telling a potential mate how much you really, really like them adds a lot of unnecessary pressure! Instead, gradually reveal your inner thoughts, feelings, and personal story starting with light and casual then progressing to deeper, more intimate self-disclosures.

4. DON’T forget the traditional rules of dating.

DO be a gentlemen/lady. Some rules of dating have stood the test of time. Yes, we live in a modern world in which women can pay for themselves and open their own door. Still, it’s nice when the man foots the bill after a dinner date. Likewise, ladies shouldn’t try to be just one of the guys.

 

Tips from Dr. Kate Campbell, Ph.D., LMFT

5. DON’T be overly influenced by expectations of family and friends such as, “Does she practice the same religion? Is he the same race, or does he have the desired financial/educational status?”

Read more www.psychologytoday.com